Wednesday, March 2, 2011

2011 Got Hit Today

Today I got in an accident, not serious nor caused any real damage to my car, but did get a smack in the back of the whip. This was when I was going on to a highway type road, so not much time nor space to talk to the person that hit me. I was about to pull out of the street, and this car was coming pretty fast so I decided to be cautious and wait, then I got the hit as the guy behind me thought I was going. There was a line of cars behind him, so we didn't have anywhere to move to nor were able to have a conversation. I got out of my car and walked over to him, he approached me and immediately started saying that there was no damage. I looked at the bumper, and there was no major damage, but there was indents, which cracked the plastic from the screws of his license plate. I allowed him to get in his car, and let it rest as there was not much damage. The car is a lease so we'll see if it will cost anything. After the fact, as within the moment when talking to the guy, I went into suppression and reserve allowing him to direct the situation, and allowing myself to go into inferiority due to his demeanor. Not being within and as common sense, to get his information in case it was something, but go into fear and just allowed to be dominated.

I notice that I will react within the starting point to people within meeting them based on a split second calculation of the other persons demeanor and from there go into a inferior stance or superior stance based on if I see them as strong/weak. Very much from the mind, allowing competition, dominance, suppression, power struggle, comparison, polarities, many factors play out within my acceptance and allowance of this pattern to continue. This showing that I am still accepting this point of fear within conflict believing that I am powerless because I have not accepted myself as equal and one as all, but have lived within and as polarity as better/worse. This a point I see and do not accept, and will continue to keep pushing myself so I have equalized self within the acceptance of who I am here til it is done.

Self forgiveness to follow

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