Sunday, March 27, 2011

2011 Today in Writing

Today, I woke to a nice prepared breakfast of waffles and strawberries, tea, yogurt, and banana bread, this I enjoyed and was thankful for D’s mom for cooking it. We worked the whole day moving her out of her house and into a new apartment.  We loaded up a uhaul, which took about 3 1/2 hours and then brought it to the new place unloaded it and did it again a second time. We did not finish til 9 o’clock at night. I realized that I very much enjoy being physical, pushing myself within what I would normally do in a days work, and breathing thru any resistance that came up to not continue. This allowing my body to rest in moments, so its not a full out deal, but working to get what was necessary done in the allotted time necessary. I saw some reactions to D based on him giving me a look, and I went into a negative outlook on myself like he did not like me and that he was angry at me or something to that effect. He did not show me anger, it was just an 'in a moment look' that he gave me, but I projected myself on to him in seeing myself less then. I did the necessary self forgiveness to myself and moved on, and we enjoyed ourselves for the day. I haven’t discussed this point yet, but will later tonight. I very much enjoy helping others, and it’s not a point where I am doing it as ego, not to say there are not moments during the day where I didn’t go into ego, but generally I am here and enjoying helping others which is cool. The world needs to be more helping and giving, so it’s cool to push this within myself and starting to see and live the benefit’s as self enjoyment. D’s mom very much appreciated our help, and was very grateful for our work throughout the day, which I am glad we could help. I saw some points of jealousy I experienced with D and his daughter that I saw and stopped as I do not accept myself to go there, and did the self forgiveness on this as well. I will have to investigate further as I am just starting to open up this point within me. No movement today with my 21 days of no coffee, so cool I am starting to see the stopping addictions paying off and transcending habits that I got use to living out daily. My next one is 6 months of no sugar  (processed kind) to stop my cravings I am having and seeing desire or need for sugar directing me. I find sugar a difficult one to transcend as I have already done a few times 21 days stopping this, but I am determined to completely transcend the need or want for the sweets. Thanks for reading.

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