Sunday, January 30, 2011

Why am I doing this....Process Support

Why am i doing what I am doing? This pertaining to walking a process to self realize myself meaning to be the living expression as the actual here movement of the absolute truth of life as it is here being one and equal to life living as (my)self. The physical reality we are living here in is the absolute truth because we are alive, are given unconditionally as life which can be seen as self so it is giving to ourselves, and able to move, express, and transcend to fully actualized beings as self one and equal to life here as this physical existence as who we are - ex. trees, plants, animals, ocean, nature. This is not so as of yet because I still exist in my head, not here, but in thoughts, memories, picture shows, and directed by my emotions, feelings, and outside influence, this being not in this moment here as physical touch, but in my head in different dimensions all over the place. The physical is key as this is the place where life is and this is the place where 'I' (I = Life individualized as self in a being/expression) am. Heaven, death, afterlife stories, as there are countless version, unfortunately was just that stories, and this can be proven by self if you look in honesty of the whole of the stories being told. Some points that help me see the falsehood in the claims that to be 'godly' and/or in a 'heavenly realm' we must die, and claims that heaven is where we reign, where our kingdoms are, but we must die in order to get there. What the fuck? Jesus was a living example as he did transcend death, and was an example to show to beings on earth that this is possible, humans can live this. But there was still forces that he was not aware of, and he got fucked with so it did not manifest and stick with the beings here at that time. (links for more on Jesus story:here also Jesus written articles:here)

If I am life, then death is not necessary and not real because life supersedes all death or things that are in decay as life is simply being alive. So obviously something is going on here within humans expressions of themselves and how the world is currently existing as, as much separation and much anger. Desteni is also a key point for me because this is where the whole story came together, the missing pieces that no religion, no priest, no book, no parent, no anything could tell because no one had any bloody idea what was going on, and to what extent this was actually playing a role in the way our lives where existing and being directed as total control. This is why I am constantly putting desteni out there, for those who haven't heard or known so they can see and self realize themselves too , it is too important not to and be silent, will not accept myself in this state. As all beings here have to transcend the nature of themselves as self dishonesty to self honesty, this is a walk for every being in existence no one is excluded, we all have to walk as a self realization movement otherwise it will not be. In other words no one can do it for another, all must be done through self's own willed application for it to be true.

So I figured out with much research through the desteni material and my own studies, that heaven and hell,  otherworldly places, all heavenly angelic beautiful places, are not real and not necessary. I have realized that heaven is here as this physical existence where I am alive, breathing, moving, touching, seeing, and existing as a living being in each and every moment. The breath, this is what is life here as it gives and re-gives life to life in an infinite cycle of renewal and opportunity. Becoming as and within the breathing of my physical human body as the physical movement of inhaling and exhaling, this has been extremely assisting and helpful in realizing in what being here is, what being life is, what being in the moment is, and how to direct in a slowed down moment by moment movement to see and stop which I see is not supportive and assisting to life here as me.

So in realizing that I am in fact am here in the physical body moving and breathing, breath by breath, aware of this inhale and exhale, the movement of my chest going up and down, and the placement of my foot step by step on the solid ground, aware of my movement in each moment, I am realizing that I am indeed life here one and equal through my own will, which is what is real as I am physically here doing it. The storm of activity moving around in my head into and through my world is not what is real as literally it is not physical and can not be tangible touched.  Being directed by my thinking and emotions was specifically designed (see desteni site for more perspective) to cause conflict, to cause chaos, to cause self abuse, and ultimately to cause myself to be lost and blind in forgetfulness and spite my self in splintered pieces never realizing that I am separate and/or having no known way to become whole again.

So this process I am walking to bring my self back here to the physical in breath. Using the tools of self honesty to see where I have lost myself for a moment and separated me as I am considering everything of me, then it is to self forgive myself to purify and release that which I separated myself in living, and changing to be one again and stop the separation as me. Thus the self forgiveness statements are important to realize where change is needed,  and voice myself to solidify within self that I have realized the change that is needed to be lived and I walk the living word as myself. This is where I do self corrective application, and walk through a process of seeing, stopping, and in a breath correcting that separation I have now identified, forgave, stopped in living application, and thus can be transcend until it's is not an issue and has no effect on my directive will in each and all moments any longer

Here, I would like to give an example of how I applied this in my life in living application through applying self honesty and self forgiveness. About a year and a half ago, I took on this point of stopping all participation with marijuana, which I was extremely addicted to, I used it about 4x a day for many years. This is a pattern in the beginning I didn't want to give up nor thought of myself able to give it up as I relied on it for social settings, to relax, to do physical activities, and pretty much throughout my day, I used it to deal with everything. So this was a really deep routed pattern for me to transcend, which I knew from the beginning that this must be done if I am going to be for real in this walking as there was a huge resistance to do this. So I started writing myself out on the forum, and would do the 21 day exercises, at first this was a process to stop the weed for twenty one days, I had to completely stop buying weed, eventually stop hanging out with those that abused it, and throw out all paraphernalia that was associated with it. So the removal of it form my world as a statement to myself that I will not accept and allow this abuse to continue was done, and was cool for me to show that I was serious about stopping. I started my self forgiveness process, which I was resisting because throughout I wanted to continue smoking, just did not want to give it up, and knew once I started the forgiveness portion, there was no turning back, I was walking my destiny so to speak. So walked the 21 days, then I would go back to smoke once a week, then I do it more and more, then 21 days again of no weed. I eventually realized that I had to stop for longer then 21 days so I stopped for three months, then went back and smoked, then did three more months, so it was becoming a pattern. I continued to do self forgiveness on points that would come up throughout, and this helped me to see where and how I was still manipulating myself to give in to desires and get high again. So eventually I made a video speaking about my patterns with weed, and that helped as a visual to see where I was at with the whole thing, as video are in the moment no planning, so those where assisting to see myself in a vulnerable state where I couldn't really hide. I eventually came to a decision that I was going to have to stand up and completely stop this pattern of smoking, which I did. I made a video and stated that if I fell I would have to face myself in another vlog, which I did as well cause I did fall, but stood up again. And have no desire/want/need to smoke any weed or cigarette for that matter within me, completely has diminished.

Now, I can say that I have ended the urge to smoke and am not effected when others are smoking, because through the self forgiveness and applying myself through those months, I have accumulated my living application to see that it is not worth it.  I am not going to accept or allow myself to be directed by anything outside myself, and thus compromise who I am in this moment. For this one point, the walk was lengthy, and had many ups and downs, many points where I fell, but most important is that I stuck through, stood up and pushed myself to live my words, live my self forgiveness, live my corrective application statements, and stop the addiction to weed. Also, I simple do not need it to be here and live, this is very cool because I have proven to myself that I can stop these addictive behaviors, control myself, direct myself, and push my living application to be real, to be truth, and stand as life. Many more points to transcend, but cool to push through and stand up from my addiction to the weed.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

My trek with Spontaneity

Since I wrote that piece on spontaneity a few days back, I have been observant of myself in terms of how am I spontaneous within myself and life. I have realized that my life is extremely predictable in terms of what I do day in and day out, I mostly work, apply process, and hang out with henri, this I enjoy much, but no spontaneity. Within work, I see myself within this routine type design where I do work and leave, no spontaneity. I come home and usually go on computer to write and or watch videos, read blogs, and do research. I am facing myself within process, and within these layers that are revealing themselves as I go there's a kind of familiarity I've being seeing.  At this stage I am facing little by little what I have become and what I have accepted, and realized that essentially we are all copies of each other based on dishonest and secretive action chasing the goal of wanting and/or getting more. So no spontaneity I am seeing in my process as of yet, although within self forgiveness and self honesty this is acted in a way that is spontaneous because I am here in the moment and direct myself into the words and/or actions that I see as common sense and self honest. This is an act of spontaneity because I just move myself nothing outside of me is influencing my action I'm here and I move, I direct into the self application of self forgiveness, so no thought. I'm seeing that spontaneity is done with no thought so it is here and real as expression, cool. I realized that the spontaneity that I thought I was being in the past was not actually being spontaneous, but was done and pre-programmed within my starting point of seeking attention and desiring praise for me being different and/or doing something out of the ordinary that hopefully was funny, I liked to make people laugh, which still was done in self interest because it made me feel worth/good/alive. That right there is saying to myself that I never have been alive if I need something outside me to make me fee like I am alive, how can I be alive if I am trying to find things that make me feel like I'm living, something is differently fucked in that for sure.  I am here, I am alive. I live. The act of spontaneity has to be done within no pre-determination nor pre-planning, simply here as self expressing fully. I suppose that this is just an expression as life here and is something that I am enjoying researching within myself and testing, but realizing that not once in my life have I been the expression as spontaneity for real as I been facing and seeing that I have never been real here breathing as self one and equal to life as life, fascinating I have not seen the simplicity of here until this process I am under way with has opened up - here at Join and see for yourself.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Water - a Human Right or Commodity?

I watched a documentary on the bottled water industry tonight, and I learned allot that I didn't realize was happening within this business. The movie was based in America and about American consumption and American bottled water companies, although, of course they all go over seas for the maximum in profit. Anyways, some quick facts I learned. One, they do not have any regulatory mandated procedures directed by the government or the FDA that requires them to do regular testing on the water that's being consumed. The reports on a not frequent basis they do, do not require to be public knowledge. The tap water that comes from, those who can afforded it, faucets are regulated and tested multiple times daily as ordered by law from the government for the monitoring of the quality of it.  If it gets contaminated or disrupted it would be detected very quickly. Two, they take the water from local town municipal water supplies and charge 1900 times more then what tap water costs here in the US. They give basically nothing back to the communities, and cause water shortages and droughts within the towns being effected. All these water plants do is filter the water, bottle it, and sell it individual to the consumers, us humans. Three, the chemicals that make up the plastic bottles' are made from oil which has toxins in them that seep into the water that we ingest through heat and long shelf life, there are many studies of the adverse effects of the chemicals that make up the plastics that hold the water to the human physical body. Four, only 20% of the 11 billion dollar a year water bottles industry consumed is recycled. That's 80% of the plastic waste going into landfills and oceans not to mention all the other plastic containers used. They did research and tested water samples out in the middle of the pacific ocean and found within the sample water that was dragged for a mile behind the boat, there was more plastic then plankton that could be visibly seen. You could see all the different colors of the plastic, and the different shapes and sizes floating around in the water sample that was shown through the film. There is a heep of plastic floating in the pacific twice the size of Texas, and these heeps of plastic can be found in each body of ocean on our planet.

The plastic water bottle industry is an example of the unnecessary adverse and abusive effect on the life here as to consider all aspects of life that are effected, as there are many. What is driving the obvious non sensical plastic water bottle industry to continue is money, consumer ignorance, and convenience. We have water available through our faucets that should be built up and created to sustain all, consider all, and give to all, it's in place and is being neglected because of the power of the companies behind this water bottle industry. They use marketing tactics to control the message going on, which is based on profit for the company and protection for the product's continuation <--again bottom line money.

An equal money system, this will stop as will be seen the obvious abuse and disregard for the huge amount of destruction plastic water bottles are causing, and the unnecessary use for these bottles, when we can use products that are neutral to the environment and preserve it such as glass. Also, an an equal money system waste management will be much more efficient, many things will be recycled and reused, many resources will be localized and sustained within community living, and money will be used for commerce purposes only. The power grasp hold of money in the minds of man will be gone as there will be no need to have a drive to get and hold onto money as it will be given to all and all will benefit equally within fairness, no profit necessary.

The equal money system will be heaven on earth because it is founded on the principle for what is best for all, this being undeniable and not debatable as it just is what is best for all. It will be in essence quite simple to express and an enjoyable way of living for all including the earth, the oceans, the fish, the animals, the trees, the bugs, the humans, all life.  The products will be made to last and all will be considered as equal as life as all are this in fact so it is self evident living. This is what is needed here as we see within the experiences of how life is being lived and handle by the current human race, it is time to take responsibility of ourselves and start to live whats best for all, individually first as this is where it starts with self then to the greater as this will happen very cool times ahead for all.

I will be committing myself to not use any more plastic bottles or cans unless I myself will recycle it, being used very sparingly, and will support and use tap water as this makes more sense and is supportive for life. It's to self regulate and conserve what I am using. Also, this issue is not even considered in countries where there is no money or opportunity to make money, as there water supply is not clean nor running for use, this being unacceptable. All in an equal money system will have equal access to clean water, which will be conserved and used in ways that is again best for all life here. Water is life, lets use it one and equal as life for all as all are life here.

Equal Money System- Solution to World Problems

  <----This is the trailer to the movie I was referring to here called Tapped.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Lost Boys- Story of Sudan and the Boys of War

I watched a movie about the Sudanese and the war that enveloped them in the the early 1980s. This war was based on religion, where the Muslims from the north attacked the Christian's from the south. This movie was from the perspective of the southern Christians, no mention of the northern perspective categorized by "Muslims." The movie was based on over 27000 people, many of them young boys, who walked over 1000 miles thru the desert with no food supply or water, and literally where close to death as they arrived in the Ethiopian refugee camp 5 years later called Kakuma. Over 2 million people have been killed in this war, and many died on this epic journey across the Sudanese land across the African border to Ethiopia and Kenya.

Many years later, the boys, men now, who made it to the refugee camp were given the opportunity to come to the US and go to school and get a job with government help.( Although the gov. made them pay back all the flight fare to bring them to America...pfff) They where interviewed throughout the movie, and gave a cool perspective on the difference between American culture and that of the Sudanese, a country at war and desperate for money. In Sudan, they lived very simplistically from the earth, herded cattle, made there homes from the earth, garden, and farmed. Before the war began, these men who were being interviewed, at the time before the war started they were boys, and describe their lives back then. They we're at home, their home life was very rich with tradition and practical living as they lived as a clan/community. Everyone knew each other and villages would gather and enjoy dance celebrations or stories, they had no technology, no running water, no electricity, no transportation, but had a enriched and interconnected living environment that was united and caring.  They didn't know any of the 'luxuries' we take for granted here in America. Although now, in Sudan, and for the last 20 years mostly everything has been destroyed and the people are dispersed with very sufferable conditions as they have no money and no opportunity to gain any for the most part.

About 3600 Sudanese have come to America to participate in this opportunity to gain money and get a job through a government program that was offered to them, the men that have come here have gained great strides in their learning and most of them give all there savings to the people back in the refugee camps as they see them as family, and feel 'bad' that they are comfortable while many suffer back in there homeland of Sudan. As they grew accustomed to the 'American' way of  life, they got into the grove of schedules, time, and the quick pace that is pushed with in our 'time is money' mentality. They noticed that Americans are not friendly as they are back home (in Sudan) where community living and coming together and helping others is common place. It seems like here in America, we have lost that sense of living and enjoying the company of our fellow brothers and sisters around us, we rather throw someone off the property that is not known then offer them a seat and discuss what is going on with them. There is so much fear and hype of fear through many outlets and the actions of ourselves, that we be'lie've we can not trust anyone. I live here in America, through all this technology and corporations we have given ourselves away to money, what it can buy us and what we can do with it, to the detriment to living life here and enjoying it as pure and simple as just living and being here with the life around us. Life is not perfect here, but it can be, we just have to re-allocate our priorities, start living in principled ways, and start living in self honesty and correcting ourselves in self forgiveness, its really the only real way I can see myself changing because it takes everything into account and doesn't allow fickleness or bs. I either live self honesty/self forgiveness and change or I stay stagnant to my grave making no difference.

This movie was an interesting contrast to visually see where people that has little to nothing in material wealth, but seems to have so much in life as living beings connected to nature, people in there community, feeling enriched just being alive and appreciating the life around them and themselves. Where Americans, we don't really have any community feel like clan/village living, and have all the money in the world so to speak (it seems, but not so) and have lost ourselves in the life of more and better stuff. (although many suffer here in America, it comes down to money as the giver of life; equal money will give life equal value to all and will have the effect of life living in real true freedom as we will be free, as the principle in EMS is seeing all as one as equal to self as life.)

The need for equilibrium in the world is so necessary as many are dying for lack of money. Equal money will start to change the living standard as life will be considered in all aspects, all realms, and will be localized in community living because that is common sense. More to come on community living in equal money.

The movie was called : God Grew Tired of Us

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Life as the Polarity Pull

I have been looking at this point of red states and blue states as we call them here in America for the two main political parties that encompass our future direction within the two dominant parties as it is now, the republican and democrats. The republicans are the red states and democrats are the blue states if you are unfamiliar, this is how the country has been impulsed and accepts as there political system here in the states.

This separation of parties/ideals is very significant in the power control for those who are in power and generally have control of the money flow as it causes instant and constant conflict, this being the essence of the nature of the system, and always with conflict, a push and pull game starts to envelop. This is not to say that discussion and debating on subjects or new initiatives to be put into place is not wise or needed, but the very nature of who we are here is based on this polarity conflict that is seen in the very system we are allowing to govern us, showing us essentially to ourselves.

The problem I am seeing is that we don't allow ourselves to evolve and resolve the obvious issues that keep coming up as real sufferable problems within the land we live. Many issues such as health care, poverty, homelessness, war, unemployment are still major issues, and are very prevalent and relevant for our day. This is based on the heel dragging and back door deals that are allowed to occur because there is so much text, layers, and loopholes you must figure out and succeed to get anything done or changed here as well as have the 'right' support and money to go along with that. There is no common sense or principles we live and adhere to as what is best for all, but many say 'ideal' things and never come through fully for all or it gets lost in the 'game' that we are calling politics, this being based on interests not the whole. The polarity of for example, red state/blue state with its own individual ideal plan and stopping cooperation with those who are from the other side just because they are in a box called republican, makes no sense, and is detrimental to all life here as we know it, it is destroying life because we are not considering all life involved, just 'our own' side of the coin.

This polarity complex we are living is not only seen within the political arena, we can see it within the cultural divide, one big, huge glaring one is the poor/rich divide, we label as upper-middle-lower class. This cultural divide is the 'big' one because of course this label of 'poor' or 'rich' is what determines everything about your existence and if you will in essence struggle or be comfortable. In other countries, this is more dyer where many are literally dying by the minute due to lack of money and the resources that gives self sustenance. Those who are going to prosper and thrive, and those who are going to suffer and eventually die is determined by this polarity marker we have accepted ourselves to exist within and as 'poor' or 'rich' people. This is as clear as day as I don't even have to discuss it or explain it much as it automatically is seen within this world system when we go outside in our day to day living, those who are homeless on the streets and those who walk by with everything they would need; a child dying in the arms of a mother and a child obese based on too much food available.

These polarities are everywhere based on the polarities that exist within all of us, as within so without as the saying goes, the desire to be better causing the opposite effect of those who have to be less, is a main polarity construct I am working and stopping within myself here. This is created, sustained, and lived through human beings everyday, accepting and allowing this system of polarities that dictate who we are here to exist and continue, we are a giving it power by agreeing to it and are responsible because we are allowing it. This is where self honesty and self forgiveness comes in and is useful because each one has to identify each and every time one thinks, believes, desires, generates any kind of energy in this plight for a polarity fulfillment such as to be great, to be rich, to be in a 'nice' car, to be loved, and opposite when you are hateful, spiteful, jealous, think your in a 'shitty' car, violent, all are here and have an effect you are creating as bringing about the opposite that was indulged in as the polarity must balance out.

 On the world stage these polarity are being impulsed through money as rich and poor, then to party lines as democrat and republican, then to ideas as pro abortion/ pro life, then to products as healthy/unhealthy. and it continues not realizing that what is needed is simplicity and practical living common sense for what is best for all, always will come down to a simple anwser that can be equated by simple mathmatics 1+1=2.

Within this polarity system we are living, nothing ever is getting accomplished because within this living polarities, we are living separation, saying as a statement of self that I am not that opposite in whatever polarity is being indulged in at that time. For example, I am not that 'ugly' person over there, I am here and 'pretty' with my 'red' hair, but then later you will experience yourself to be 'ugly' because you have defined and limited yourself by that which is defined as 'pretty'  when your hair turns grey and you go to the opposite pole because you 'think' grey hair is 'ugly'. When in reality it is hair, color is a color no definitions or polarity thoughts need be attached to this life we refer to as hair or color, it is what it is so to speak, humans place the definitions that limit the full expression of self based on the polarity poles we exist as.

 visit: Desteni site = more on oneness and equality as self as all life and understanding

With an equal money system, the self realization process that is being discussed and practiced by many at desteni, as this is the place where the full story of who we are was found, researched thoroughly, and told, is imperative to be pushed within self will because the main issue with human behavior that i have lived and have experienced within my life is the fact that we do not see ourselves as one family and to be more literal one being. This is in fact who we are literally. We are one as life all living things. There is no separation and this allowance of polarities has to be stopped within self, it is a process and it is possible, it is time for all beings to wake up to these realizations and live the living word as each and every life form here equal and one as self. It has to come back here to self and then life will be one. Its up to YOU/ME to live this, the crossroads is here, as the atrocities that are being lived and allowed has come to it's brinking point. Lets do this, equal money is the first step to show that self is understanding and living who I am as life and place this into being within a system that is fair within self honest living, and equal for all.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Some Sf from last post

SF on security falling

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear my security to fall.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear not having a job.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting fear of losing my job.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear not being able to pay my bills.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear not having money.

I forgive myself for allowing money to be my god and thus direct my life completely.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel inferior to my current situation and not direct myself within common sense, but fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accpeting fear to direct me.

I forgive myself for allowing and  accepting myself to see myself inferior to others because I am out of the 'norm' because my head is shaved.

I forgive myself for allowing and accpepting myself to fear lsong the security of my parents.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting beliefs and fears that I am bind by my parents support whether it be money, words, or actions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting dependence on my parents.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live and not push myself as I have support always fronm my family.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting this escape as family support to not try to my full potential and go thru life half assly.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use my family.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to live not equal to my family.

I stop fear of loss.

I stop fear of losing security from my family.

I stop feeling inferior to my situation.

I stand here and walk common sense for what is best for all as what is best for me in the process to an equal system of life. I start with myself.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Me at the Moment

I have been having a hard time with my family lately, they are really pushing this point of desteni being a cult and that I am being conned. It's interesting because it really doesn't matter what I say or do to show them what desteni is about or what is being discussed there, they have already made up there own 'minds' and I can not change it. I have to be the living example and show them in my life and living which is really the only way I am finding to have an effective, they need to want to do it on there own. Savior complex is being activated at times with them, I am seeing this and not accepting it as it is something that is not real and can not be done, only self can save self.
I am at the moment dependent on my father for work, and he is threatening to fire me because of my hair and being involved with desteni. He allows me to where a hat, but does not want to see me without one on. This is something I have to adhere to because I need a job to make money, there is no way I can not work or I get fucked with bills. I am the perfect slave, and all that desteni has been discussing such as we are literally enslaved to this current system down to the wiring within us, and the only way to get out of it, is by our own self will is true. I have to self sustain myself and create a point of independence where I don't need or depend on anyone, living for myself, I am ready to do this.  Makes perfect common sense to me and the only way for me to learn what it takes and how it is to actually - truly be life, must be lived and self realized.
I am living with my parents for a couple months to save money, so I can get an apartment on my own, I tried living with my sister and her husband as it was a pretty cool setup, but there was too much conflict, just didnt work out. I am also starting graduate studies this semester, am not sure what I am going to focus on, I am going to a counseler in a week to discuss this. My degree is in political science. I am working towards being effective in the equal money system, so that is my focus. I am working with these points and will open up more later within writing. I have limited time on the internet as I can only be on the comp. for a certain amount of time as I am in my parents house, so for know have to deal with this. I will figure something out that is more effective in the next couple of days. My world is getting hectic as I am so interwined with my family it's getting hard to seperate desteni with them, and it's not meshing well unfortunately. I see that I am allowing fear still to direct me on lossing family and security. SF to follow.