Monday, October 15, 2012

Knowledge Is Power?

 When one say that knowledge is power, it is suppose to be a form of self encouragement and empowerment for the receiver of this knowledge to gain understanding and thus enhance ones intellect within this world. But within this there are two points that have been missed that would drastically alter this claim to be practical and real for the human race, to become that which is better then before.

Firstly when knowledge is received, learned, and understood by a person, then this will enhance ones ability to greater understand ones environment and be able to discern from fact and fiction. But when one collect knowledge say within a years worth of studying at a university and not practically apply it within one’s life and thus within the system one is living from, then that knowledge becomes useless as it is not being practiced within one’s living and thus becomes part of the lost potential within oneself that could have been. The best way to apply this is to create ways to live the knowledge in ones life and thus use the knowledge to help those around you as well as yourself.

Secondly, the idea that knowledge is power is used within a way to not apply it for all but use it to better oneself in spite of the outflow consequences it will have on others, because ‘hey, if I have accessed this knowledge, then I own it, I can use it at my disposal’. Within this idea of knowledge being a commodity, this has created the secrecy within this current world system, those who have the knowledge are the one’s in power, but is this power best for all, obviously not as we see with this current society of suffering. This manipulation of knowledge breeds fear as withholding certain knowledge is only done within a point of self interest, because if self have a look, all knowledge should be available to all to learn and grow from, if one hoard it in secret then one is deceptive. There is no reason any knowledge should be withheld only for  a few, secrecy breeds self deception and abuse. Consider the current leadership in this world, in our government system there is a confidentiality code, unclassified, classified, top secret, and what’s behind these secret agendas, they will claim it’s for our protection and security, but who is the one benefiting from these secret wheeling and dealing, the elite, they make money and lots of it by holding knowledge that is critical for all to understand and thus discern for self if it’s practical and best for all.

So knowledge is power when all life benefit and thus empower all that is able to apply it freely, freely meaning it is given for all for free. The knowledge that is secret and not shared for all is done in self interest and profit is always behind this, motivated by fear, and used to disempower life for the benefit of a few to make a few bucks. To manipulate with knowledge is a crime against humanity and life, and thus will be treated as such when life as each one is held accountable for the knowledge they accepted and allowed, which will eventually happen here or the hereafter. There is no purpose for secrets, but to be deceptive. So consider what is being said, and use knowledge with care, to be used for the betterment of all life and a world that is worth living in. Knowledge is power, but only if all benefit equally from it and are able to live it.


Monday, April 30, 2012

2012 Re-Defining the Word RESPECT to be Lived Best for All


Within and during my life I have used the word respect as a means of reverence and placement with others in my world, such as elders, I would see to respect them as they have been through more life experiences than me and thus if I pay them respect, I can be taught and learn how to navigate myself through this world as they have learned and experienced. So here from a point of self interest to get something out of the respect such as tools for me to know how to live and navigate myself in this world. We hear this allot within this world, 'we have to respect our elders', but in all honesty how many of us actually do. Another way is I would see elderly within fear and pity as they can do hardly anything anymore and are on their way out meaning close to death, which I feared as it was unknown. But within this point of respecting the elderly, it was more a society norm that I would conform to when in public and around authoritative figures, so I would not get in trouble and be seen as disrespectful. When I was caught as being disrespectful I would get in trouble with my parents, so it avoid this consequences of getting myself in trouble.

Also, I would give these people respect who have done something high in achievement such as run a marathon or become president, but this was all in a kind of wonderment and awe as I didn't see myself equal to them, but them more then me as I compared myself to them and never saw myself able to do what they had done, so seeing myself in inferiority. This point goes along with fear as I would be in fear of them and thus respect them to show that I am submitting to them or trying to please them for them to see me as more acceptable.

All the points of respect where created and lived within myself based on someone either threatening me to be in trouble or fear, so in separation of life as a point of escapism to not have to face what is here within the actual equality and oneness of the situation so being respectful towards another because I believed I was not equal to them and within the energies of fear, this respect was generated for my own self interest and my apparent need to survive with others. This is not real respect as it is just done and created for my own self survival to gain something from the other, and not actually living respect in what that implies in all facets of life within and as another, but separating myself as the action of respect towards another so I can be safe and get an outcome I want.

Here I will redefine the word Respect for all as me to live and breath within and as each moment, the word respect is lived as a respect for all life within and as each being as the life that is within self, respecting life as self as you recognize and honor self within and as all beings in each breath that is here because we as who we are recognize the gift of who we are as life here within and as the opportunity we have to create ourselves in this expression of oneness and equality in what ever emerges for what is best for all. The respect for all life and living this within and as ourselves in oneness and equality at this moment is a process for each one, but when and as we have birthed ourselves as life within and as the physical and manifest the living statement of ourselves as physical respect as ourselves as life in oneness and equality with all that exist, we will create a world that we will be free. This freedom within and as respect for and as ourselves and honoring ourselves as life is the giving ourselves the opportunity to live in true joy and expression as we create a world that is in respect of of everything that is here because we live respect within and as each one of ourselves as we live 'I am here'.

respect, living respect, redefining the word respect, equality living, equal life, desteni, 2012, what is respect, respectful people, respect life, equal money

Saturday, March 31, 2012

2012: I Have a Secret....My Journey with a 'Spirit' Entity

My friend and I started to discuss a new book I was reading, it was the conversations with god books. It was a book about a guy who asks questions, and 'god' comes through and writes out answers. This was very intriguing to me as I had come to realize that what we were being taught within religions and teachings of this world about god and beliefs was to me like make believe, pretend, it had no real life relevance. As I found within the religions and beliefs around the world there was a serious disconnect to reality, I mean a pope who is suppose to be the right hand man of god sits on a throne, and there are billions how live and have nothing....I could go on about this subject, but that is not what this blog is about, so I will digress and go back to that point I wanted to discuss here, and that was my friend and I started speaking about this book, the material in it, and if we thought it was for real or not.

My friend then out of no where, said 'garb?' and I looked at her and I go 'yo, what up?' like with a puzzled look on my face as it was so random that she just said my name like a question out of no where and just looked at me blankly, lol. And then her eyes motioned to look at her hand, and so I looked down and her hand was writing. It was writing letters, and I was like what are you doing? She was like I am not doing anything, there is something that is doing this for me. So I started communicating with it. It named itself V and said that she was my guide. This I was fascinated by as I was reading books and such about heaven and guides, so from that moment on, a relationship started to develop between me, my friend, and her finger writing out all sorts of stuff that will last two years until I came across Sunette on youtube, who is known as the Interdimensional Portal from Desteni.

Now within this moment, I did not question what was being said to me through the finger, what was going on within the nature of what was happening with my friend where she had no control of what was being shared, but just allowed it to happen, I was a bit shocked because I was hoping that something like this would happen to me, and here it is, it seemed too good to be true as the saying goes. I assumed that it was some sort of spiritual being or benevolent being, but I had no real physical evidence of what or who it was. This was a clear red flag that I should have took note of as how can you trust something that just happens out of the blue like that, but I was naive at the time, and was quite impressed with myself that I was 'chosen' and this boosted up my ego for sure. So from the starting point of this, it was always about me and my self interest, what I could get out of it, what I could find out, and exalting my ego as I was special because I have this privilege while no one else does, I had a secret that made me 'believe' that I was more special and privileged then others. This a product of accepting my ego as me and not using common sense and self honesty to see the red flags that started to emerge as the communication continued for many months.

At that stage, I allowed it to continue on the hope and actual obsession of speaking to the other side, trying to find answer to my own self fuck ups, and just preoccupying my time with useless questions about things that had no relevance to anything that actually mattered in this world. I also got suspicious when my friend started questioning the validity of this as she was having a hard time keeping stable within it, allowing it to mess with her mind as I was seeing this as with my own mind, and there was no real point of groundedness within it, if anything it was making me more confused and lost within the whole 'who am i?' types of questions I had within myself.

I would be led to do stuff that was absolutely ridiculous, and would make a complete fool of myself, but based on the words of this talking finger directing me to do it, I would go and do it. For instance, this guy was at a show for work, and I was attracted to him. He did not even see me I don't think, but I had my eye on him. I got the number some how of his business, and ask the talking finger if he was interested in me and should I get into contact with him. She said yes, do it, he saw you and would like to go out, and so this is all I needed, even though, he was not in any close vicinity to me, and we maybe saw each other once, very briefly, and I was assuming he was looking at me, I had no idea. So I USED this finger to tell me the way, and thus I was directed to call him and get a date. So I did, and it was quite an awkward conversation, he had no clue who I was and thought I was rather insane for calling him in the middle of a work day and asking if he remember me at some random conference where there was probably a thousand people walking around, he ended the conversation with I am married. So as you can see here, it was not to be trusted, the writing from the finger, and I was clearly giving it all the power as I believed myself to be less then it, and abdicated my responsibility to stand up and direct myself because I desired to be told what to do and how to do it. Not cool and thus this is where evilness is bred and cultivated, by those who think they are powerless and need others to show them the way or save them, thus giving up there right to really live and become the solution themselves.

The key point within spiritual psychic, channelers, fingers that automatically write, and the likes that I found is that there is no validation nor hard physical evidence that it is in fact true and real. I have found first hand that it was a complete point of self abdication and self indulgence that I accepted to direct me into something that within my beingness I knew was not legitimate, and it didn't make sense, but due to desire and my ego I let it me over, which left me more lost and distracted within conspiracy theories and what if scenarios for instance.

I found desteni after about two years of this communication, and a lot of communication happened in between this time. Within the two years, I did not have any more clarity from when I started, but rather felt more lost, confused, and had lost trust within myself for allowing myself to get so wrapped up in it. I allowed the ideas I created of myself with it, the specialness, the elixir of knowing secrets of existence, and speaking to someone who I thought was better then me, more then me, and actually fearing it sometimes. But within this experience I realized that if something could not be verified and proven overtime to be consistent within what it spoke of itself, common sense dictates it should not be trusted. Anything that is real and true can be verified and in fact will make sense, such as this physical reality, such as equality and oneness, such as the portal, there is evidence of this working and being cross-referenced over and over, again and again, and each time it is stable, consistent, and able to be verified and proven true through the actual living of it. But this can only be seen if you are a being looking for self truth by being self honest as you will be walking this as yourself.  If you are interested in playing into ideas and beliefs about what might be out there or could be as the spiritual world is full of, then this will be your life, wondering and searching, but never finding the solution, which is getting to peace in this world.

Thus all spiritual notions, channels, ventures, desires, ect. is invalid as it has done nothing to bring about oneness and equality within this physical world. We have been searching for ourselves, in channellers, in masters, in higher planes, in heaven after death, but all the while, we have been missing ourselves here living day after day after day. We are lost within getting answers, getting signs, believing in someone else to save us, and abdicate our own self living to bring this about ourselves. We are the solution of this world, each and every human being, we must walk the solution as ourselves to enjoy the fruits of our labor as what has to be walked for real to bring about peace in this world, through bringing all that is here from inequality to equality in fact through a living system that honor this principle, the equality of all life. If we don't live it here it will not be created, common sense....just like if we don't get up and ride the bike, we will never be able to ride the bike for ourselves. No one can sit and ride it for you, to experience the riding of the bike, one must for real ride the bike. To solve the problems in this world, we can't rely on anything else, but ourselves solving the problems in this world. Desteni is just a doorway to bring this about, this principle of life as equality and oneness for each one for real, it's a tool for self to walk the solution.

Investigate Desteni as this is a site that is a central point to understand about self as the creator of this world, and the responsibility of ourselves to fix what we have created faulty. It is a process to be walked, but a process of self realization to become a being who has perfected ones living. Fascinating and challenging at the same time, so are you ready to walk your desteni?

equality, spirits, spirituality, entities, speaking to god, speaking to higher beings, ghosts, demons, angels, channelers, psychics, new age, desteni equal money, wiki, eqafe, sunettespies, portal

Monday, March 26, 2012

2012 Self Forgiveness: I Lack

Self Forgiveness Lack

This is in response to an earlier post I did on the word Proud in terms of living it in competition as an ego and living it within a consideration of self one and equal with all within the betterment of all life. Here is a reference:

Re-Defining the Word PROUD to live for All Life

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to see lack within myself based on believing that I am not worthy of the life that is me because I have done such screwed up stuff in my life and have had many dishonest moments.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that based on what I did within and as my past as my past actions, words, and thoughts that I am damned to be inferior and lack the qualities and skills that I see and believe others have and that I do not deserve.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that I do not have the qualities and skills of others I see as more then me based on my belief that I just am not able to live up to what others can do while all the while I am wasting my time living into this belief of lack as if a belief is real and who I am, when I realize and see that beliefs are not real as they come from the mind dimensions and thus are not based in reality, are not based in this physical world, and thus do not define who I am here. I have the ability to change me here within and as all that I will myself to do, the only being holding me back is me, thus I stop holding me back as I stop these beliefs as mind illusion and walk within and as reality in what makes sense within self honest introspection and self honest action.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that I do not deserve life as this is not possible as I am life and thus I as a life being have the ability to change who I am and become the directive principle in my world in a breath and thus I push myself to be the living directive principle in who I am and what I do as I have the power within me to walk in what ever manner I will and within the considerations as who I am as life I walk in always the consideration of what would be best for all and thus I will always consider myself within this equation. I am all and the all is I, we are all one here and thus all equal in fact. I accept myself here fully and walk my process in self correction with no judgment but only application in self honesty to get this done to stop all suffering forever more.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe because of who and what i was in the past I do not deserve to live among life in a care free and equal way,  this is based on the belief that I am not as accelerated as others and thus I will fail when I realize that I am who I am and thus have abilities and skills I can use to better my life as well as better the life as humanity as a whole. Thus I realize it is not to be in competition with others in a quest to achieve or accelerate to be more then what I see others can do, but find what I enjoy and comes natural and thus become the best that I can be in whatever it is that I enjoy doing always within the consideration of myself as all life and thus creating the best world possible for all to live and enjoy in.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to compete with others in an attempt to satisfy this desire to be more then others because I have accepted myself in need of something as I believe that I am missing something, so thus I have gone into blame and jealousy towards others to compensate and thus release this self disappointment that I have not willed myself to live to my fullest potential and push myself to excel within my self living.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to compete with others around me in an attempt to exalt my own ego based on the lack I have accepted and allowed of myself. I realize and see that I in fact lack nothing within and as what I am capable of as the will of life, but only lack the self will to push and will it in to being. This I do not accept any longer and thus accept myself for who I am here within all that I have lived and live in a way that I push every day to walk self honest and through self forgiveness change myself to be a being I am proud of.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to allow blame and jealousy within and as myself because I do not want to push myself within living application to change to become a being that is self directed, but allow myself to wallow in self pity and self procrastination and thus take it out on others in deflection of facing myself within these dishonesties.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting blame towards any point separate from myself in an attempt to not have to face myself and thus abuse life because I am accepting jealousy and blame to exist within me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting jealousy and  blame within and as me towards any being in my world within an attempt to bring someone else down and make me more based on my acceptance and allowance of myself as my ego to be the best and thus accept and allow the abuse of life within my own self interested desire to be special and to be seen by others as more then the life around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting jealousy to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting blame to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use procrastination and laziness to exist within my world so I do not have to push myself and fully apply myself within my application of change because I want easement and comfort within this idea that I am doing too much, but within this using this as an excuse to not have to fully push myself because I want to not have to work hard and put in the effort which can be strenuous and difficult at times.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to give in to the mind as ego as resistance and thus give in to the enslavement of me as a being who needs to be controlled and used because I do not want to walk as life one and equal with what is here as physical and thus I will not stand equal. So I realize and see the correction here to push myself through resistances always, and use my self honest assessment to not push myself too much meaning not go over board, but apply myself and do the best I can do each and every moment using self forgiveness and self correction to get me here where life is.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be jealous and desire to be special with myself here as all life and thus seek self gratification in self interest while I allow abuse of other life forms which I realized i do not want for myself, so thus I realize and see that each and every time a thought come up I let it go of jealousy or blame or wanting to be more I stop it and release it through breathing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to blame life in an attempt to make myself self feel better in self dishonesty because I do not want to push myself and walk the walk to become equal with all that is here. Blame of life is unacceptable as it is just a lack of self will and an easy way out to not have to face self and walk the correction which is physical change which require dedication and perseverance as mind is 'easy' and life equal and one has never been walked so thus I realize it will be a walk as a process and I must always continue to stay disciplined and self honest to see it through.

When and as I go into a point of self lack and see myself less then others I stop all these thoughts immediately through breathing, assess the situation and if it becomes overwhelming and I feel like I will react simple walk away, but if after application I feel stable I continue to live and let go of all points of separation and focus on what is best for all and push myself each and every time to live this out and do the best I can do. Seeing myself equal as we all are here and we all are life, so thus walk from a starting point of equality and I accept nothing less then this among myself and the life that is here as me until it is fulfilled and we walk here as one for real in physical reality.

When and as I go into a point of blame and jealousy I stop and breath, and release this build up of accumulated thoughts through self forgiveness in my head or make note to do later in the evening if it is not able to be done in the moment. I stop all thoughts of this point of jealousy and blame as I release myself from my ego as if I am more then others as I realize and walk the acceptances of all as myself and do not define any thing or any one other then within the starting point of oneness and equality and push myself to breath within these intense peak points of wanting to react and go into self abuse as blame and jealousy, stop, let go, and leave if necessary or continue living in a way that is best for all within the situation. Also I can express myself within communicating myself in what it is that I am having an issue with so thus it is out there with the other so the issue can be resolved within mutual consideration and input with a respect and honor of the other as how I would want to be treated for myself. Honoring the life that is here among all always is the focal point, ego, jealousy, blame are not real but only an attempt to make me more and better which will always end in diminishment of myself which does not make sense because I stand for what is best for all which will always be what is best for me.

When and as I go into a point of procrastination and laziness as a resistance to push myself and face myself within my process of birthing myself as life, I push myself to walk what ever is the resistance and fulfill it within the best manner I can. I do not accept myself to indulge in points of compromise through desiring a certain experience or outcome, but walk the walk in whatever it takes til I am here as life one and equal and the world is a place I would like to live and have children grow up in, nothing is worth anything if this is not here and living within myself as this world, and so thus I push myself with all my will to apply myself each and every day as best I can so thus I can live as a being who is proud and thus in the know that I will bring forth a world that is in deed best for every living being that exist as I would want for myself, and this is how it should be. I am self disciplined, I am self motivated, I am self directed, and I need nothing but myself to get this done. I know what is needed to be walked and thus I walk it into life here as myself.

lack, self forgiveness, procrastination, lazy, competition, proud, living words life self interest competing blame jealousy, self honesty equal money eqafe desteni destonian wiki, 2012,

Sunday, March 18, 2012

2012 Re-Defining the Word PROUD to live for All LIfe

Growing up within myself I used the feeling of being proud within a point of compensation for the lack that I felt within myself. To be proud within the system is to become joyful within ones own individual accomplishments or that there of someone close to you that you love or are endeared by such as a child or a best friend. This feeling of proud brings one into a state of euphoria for a moment as we have accomplished something within the feat of what we thought we could not do or that we could not come up with.

Here I will be speaking of the word proud within the context of being proud of myself, so a proudness within oneself. This I can relate to because as a kid I was very proud, but within this proud feeling I would define myself by this, such as an achievement. This was done in a point of self interest as I was always within competition of others around me, one of my favorite things to do was athletics, so I was geared and trained within winning and competing with others, and this is what I did best. When I achieved a success within sports such as dribbling the soccer ball in between two players and passed it to the man in front to score the winning goal, this made me proud. I had succeeded in the winning of the game, and I help create the score of the final point to beat the other team. This caused great praise from all the teammates and the parents alike. So not only was I proud because I beat the other team, but I was also proud with myself because I generated some good feelings within praise and accolades within the members of the team, which boosted my ego and told me ok, I am good here, I am making it here.

Now within this feeling of being proud in this current system, it is based on the ego and the exaltation of the being as the ego within competition and self superiority. The competition we see everywhere, such as what we see within marketing, within entertainment, within religions, within education, I mean competition is what drives our society and our system for that matter, the survival of the fittest. We have to survive thus we have to compete.

Another point is that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to see lack within ourselves, this I am walking within myself as well, I have created this feeling of proudness to thus compensate for the lack I feel that I am not worthy. Thus it becomes a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs of trying to gain this feeling of proudness within myself based on gaining some kind of victory through beating others or creating something that others like, so I can have proof by the outer world that I am cool and I matter because people like me and I have proven by winning that I am better then others thus I gained value within the system. Winning and gaining others approvals currently makes life equaling humanity feel proud to be alive and relieved as they will not be the one who gets fucked by the system, those being the losers.

Being proud within this current system and the current living of it, is within the fear of survival and separation of ourselves into an ego that have to have energy to sustain itself and live, this not enjoyable for anyone if they speak within self honesty. The nice feelings this feeling of proudness generate is only a point of self definition of worthiness thus within the next breath the feeling of depression will be feed as the opposite will always manifest as they feed off each-other as a means of survival, these feelings can not be sustained by themselves so will always require more energy to generate that proud feeling and get away from the negative feeling as depression one has accepted as who they are. This is where the drive to succeed and thus survive another day in the system is sustained and this proudness feeling is but another way to feed ones ego and become more then other beings in this world to really continue surviving. The success will come always with survival as it is a dog eat dog world and to win one must compete, so we have created a false sense of proudness of ourselves within a very limited expression of survival and fear of lose.

Now to re-define the word Proud into a living word best for all, I would start by changing my focus of who I include in living proud, this through allowing all to enjoy or benefit from what every it is I created or did. Seeing life within equality and oneness will then take away any points of need for feeling worthy within myself or fear of not surviving because all that is here is me and thus when this is lived by all life, fear of survival and thus a need to be better within self will cease to exist and being proud will stop being from a point of self interest to feed a feeling created through energy generation.

So within living this way of inclusion of all life and having a sense of pride within oneself would be a release of all points of ego as competition and living from a wholeness of being of acceptance of all here and thus acceptance of myself as life within all that I do. Living within principles of self honesty and self correction always to create the best being I can be so what I create is void of ego and only from the expression of and as myself within the joy of who I am as life. From here what I create or live within my expression is done within the wholeness of the understanding that I will be benefiting all who will come into contact with what ever I do or create and thus I can be proud that I did my best within the consideration of all the life that is here. Thus I have created a universal benefit for all the life within the world I live and this is a living of the word being proud. Being proud of self as self has supported and assisted to the benefit of all life, and thus one can be proud that you have created easement and satisfaction for others as you would like for yourself.

lack, self forgiveness, procrastination, lazy, competition, proud, living words life self interest competing blame jealousy, self honesty equal money eqafe desteni destonian wiki, 2012,

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

All We Care About is Ourselves- Self Forgiveness on Self Interest

Self Interest

So I was just watching Kristina Salas Vlog, 2012- Get Over Yourself...Stand Equal about this very point, where we as beings, as individual beings make OUR tinny, tiny worlds the center of the universe, like there is nothing going on in this world, but what we think of ourselves, what others think of us, how we are being treated, and who is noticing us and many more points, but all this is just our egos while billions on the planet suffer needlessly and cruelly within the real living physical reality that we actually live in. Our egos being centered and generated within the mind through the energy that we are continually participating in over and over again with every thought we think about all the bs that goes on within our minds. And essentially we get distracted with ourselves as our minds as our egos until death, we're then at death and beyond it's too late as we cease to exist as life resides in this physical reality as we can see all around us.

We essetially waste the oppurintiy to birth ourselves for real and thus have to face the consequences of this at death. (Within desteni they have a series of beings sharing there Life Review after they have died, and what they realized within there life's that they missed and essentially gave up within clinging to the mind and all that can be conjured up by ourselves within the egos as the mind, heres an example Life Review - A Drug-Addict as Mind-Prophett.) Thanks for Kristina for bringing this up because it is so true, we are totally consumed with ourselves as our mind and as the ego. The only way to stop this ego and this take over of the mind as who we have become, is stopping ourselves, taking responsibility for what we have created as our mind- thoughts, words, deeds, and changing ourselves in real time to be beings that support all life. It's all here, we just have to walk it into being, this to walk as life for real one and equal with all the other life that lives here with us.

To give some perspective of what I am referring to here as being ;consumed within the mind', here is something that happened today, I was running my dog through the woods, and I noticed that I had been in my head for about three or four songs into my run, thinking about henri biting someone, thinking about what my next fear week video is going to be about, thinking about that I had to go the bathroom, thinking about that I forgot to where a sports bra but cool I can still run in a bra and how it was actually becoming uncomfortable as I thought about it, thinking about having to work later, thinking about how annoying my ipod is when it stops abruptly riding against my skin, thinking about being hungry and what I was going to eat for dinner, thinking about what these people where thinking about me, do they think i am cute, do they think that I am looking nice running, do they think henri is the best dog because hes my dog and obviously he you get the idea of what I mean when I say that we consume our heads with thought after thought after thought about bullshit stuff, a constant stream it is like and I am sure every human can relate to this. But it matters neither here nor there about these thoughts being thunk because they are going to make shit difference in terms of physical action/movement and what we have to do to get ourselves actually moving within this reality. All that is needed is to run through the woods, no thought participation is necessary. We don't have think to run we just run, we dont think to pee we just pee, we dont think to eat we chew the food and swallow, we dont think to walk down the street we just do it, we are it as we move, when we think we get fucking lost within ourselves and life just becomes that much more complicated.

So at about mid way within my run I realized that I hadn't been here within this whole time of running, but fucking around in my head, so then I stabilized myself with a few breaths and started feeling my steps one after the other, looking within the path and stepping and enjoying each step as I felt the earth beneath my feet, also enjoying henri as he trotted right next to me, and how he played and rumped around with the other dogs on the trail as they passed by greeting each other with no judgment and moving on. Also, I was aware of the sweat that was starting to build up feeling it fall down my back and my legs as my physical body pushed through the air and propelled me through the air as I ran along the path through the trees. There I could see the different sticks and rocks that I passed there were big ones and little some in the ground, there was big stick in the way that i moved over in case someone didn't see it avoiding a fall, and the little midges flying around me as I ran along enjoying themselves in the newly spring like air. Life is going on here, I can live with or miss it, its my responsibility to walk who I am.

I realized within the desteni process I have been walking is that I am for real missing the life around me, the real true life that is living around me and missing the opportunity to grow and expand within understanding of myself as this life around me and all that is here in unconditional support as I would like to be for others. So it's a stopping simply of this chatter of useless thoughts about my self and letting go of this point of trying to to be something I simply am not or having to be noticed, letting go of the ego, and enjoying self here, simply as a life being living breath by breath.

Self interest within Being in my head Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be consumed within my mind as thoughts within my own consideration only of how I can be exalted and seen as special within my world and within the people in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to only care about my own self interest and that I will be seen within my world as special and that people notice me and see me as better and great then other beings, so I can gain energy to feed my ego and make myself feel ok.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be defined by my ego and allow my ego to direct who I am within this life in comparison, competition judgement, and self obsession with and as others in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to continually participate in thoughts that I am better or less then any being within this world and I forgive myself for allowing and accepting separation within all the life that is here with and as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to continue to participate in thoughts of competition towards the life around me as if I am subject to the ego and what I perceive as winning over another being realizing that I am only diminishing myself and separating myself further from birthing myself into who I am as life in equality with all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist witihin self judgment and continually put myself down and within this diminish the life as me to thus continue participating in my ego as competition and become the winner of what? there is nothing really that is being won, but the mind within gaining energy from me as a slave to the ego.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to diminish myself within this desire to become more then others in my world to thus gain a false sense of accomplishment and achievement because I won a system prize as coming out on top, but within myself always in the next point of attainment because this specialness did not last, it was gone as soon as it came, so thus I am in a constant battle with time to become more as I am always seeing myself within this cycle as an up and down energy gain and loss battle to be on top.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within this idea that I have to win and achieve victory to become more then others and thus see myself less then others when I don't live up to my own ideas of victory and self achievement.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to within self interest try and achieve over others to get a rush of energy to show that I beat you, I won and you lost, so I can exist within a moment of time as seeing myself great, but this again is subject to energy as thoughts, ideas, and perceptions of other being less then me and thus it is always going to end and I am always going to be here diminished as when you go up you must come down and I realize I am only competing against myself which makes no sense anyways.

I forgive myself for alloiwng and accepting to miss myself here in physical breath in oneness and equality to all that is here just like me and one with me, and that I do not need to compete or achieve victory as this is unnecessary as we can all live together and co-habituate within the principles of common sense and practicality in what would be best for all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting thoughts and ideas that I must be better, I must have the best of what is here, and I must be seen by others as better to be liked within this world and to believe that others like me when really this is my own ego trying to keep itself alive and using what is here as life in unconditional support in an abusive and self deprecating way.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to give up myself as life for an idea within my mind that I need to be more then what is here as me as a physical breathing being thus missing the opportunity to fully be alive and express myself fully here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to accept my ego fully based on fear of losing myself and giving up this perceived security I have of my life and my world when really this world is dying and I as life must stop and change to become one and equal to thus stop the self abuse as the ego is driven within a polarity cycle of constant participation which cause life to be lessened through the participation of it's own diminishment through separation which is me as the mind in separation.

When and as this point of self interest comes up where my ego wants to participate in energy as cycles of win/loss or better/less I stop and breath, gain my stability within this physical world, and focus on the movements of my body. I stop all thoughts, ideas, feelings and emotions of competition or comparison or judgment with the life around me, and push to stand equal with all that is here as i realize and see that what is here is myself. So I let go of these thoughts, letting them release thru breathing and self forgiveness/self honesty, and thus start to stand equal with me as breath and me as what is here simple living moment to  moment and taking responsibility to change the world in the best possible way starting with my self.

So instead of benig in the mind missing what is going on in life, lets live our words and see that life is here as me and I can be life equal and one to the enjoyment of just being here alive breathing, really is there anything more that we need?


Saturday, March 10, 2012

Re-Defining HUMILITY to Live for All Life

I within forth coming blogs will be writing on the re-definition of words that have been created within the mind to gain only for one's own self interest, which cause the way of this world where many suffer and those who don't are able to live among this with no real action for change. In living words and thus re-defining them to words that are alive and are in fact real, will help assist and support myself to integrate these words as myself and thus stop the ego driven version from the mind and become the real life version through the physical movement of myself.

The first word I will write about is Humility.

Humility within this world system currently is based on the mind meaning that it is created and made up within the mind of oneself and thus within the mind is able to create all sorts of interpretations and ideas about this word to thus suit ones own self interest and thus ones ego not in the interest of all life that live.

Humility as within this context of the mind definition is based on for me and how I have experienced it, is that I would become humble for the purpose of relieving the feeling of sadness or weakness relating to what I was seeing or hearing in terms of the horror of this world, and thus releasing my ego and self desire to be more then others based on the obvious horrific nature of suffering for a moment to create this experience of feeling humble. To become humble within this moment of feeling sad or weak, I would generate an opposite effect to this sadness, because I was apparently becoming benevolent because I had this feeling of being humble towards the images I was seeing.  I was faced with the horror by it being in my face and thus it could not be denied, so I used humbleness to skate through that 'uncomfortableness' feeling. Thus I could have this feeling of benevolence within me to justify why I was not in fact doing anything to help those that are obviously suffering real pain, but chose to use this feeling for my own self interest in staying within my bubble world and not have to move myself and change myself to thus consider all other life that is here, basically accepting my ego.

Within choosing my ego over the best for all life, I have created and perpetuated the very suffering that is all over the world in which we live. I realize that I would not want to suffer in that way, so why would I accept it in another, this based on my own self interest and using the feelings within to hide my cowardliness to not stand up and stop myself and allow my disregard of the blatant suffering of others. Within my mind reality, I can create the illusion that I am in fact caring because I became humble, but it wasn't real, it was only a feeling that was generated through my thinking and fear of it never happening to me. I used humility as an excuse to allow me to continue living in the mind as self interest, so I can make myself be happy and have nice feelings again.

If one consider the absolute disregard I was participating in of the actual living breathing life suffering and in pain right in front of my eyes and how I so easily disregarded it within my own self and mind because I used a feeling as becoming humble to justify the actions of me not doing anything practically to stop the suffering in this world. By using this feeling that is generated from the mind attached to the word humility towards another I was able to continue to live in my own bubble world where the only person I consider is me, myself, and I and the suffering and death of billions continues to happen every day, every hour, every minute, every second.

Now to re-define this word Humility to make it a real living action within myself and this world, I have to define it within universal terms. This is where the word will be used within the context of what is best for all beings, and thus used in the correction of this world of abuse and ourselves to live the word into a living reality that in fact will make it real for all. This not to support any mind definitions or feelings or emotions attached to the words that is created in ones own mind, but is the physical actual real movement in living this word into life through ones own will and thus will create a place where all can live within the usage of this word and all will be supported equally through the beings that live this word as self one and equal to all other life here.

For humility, the living of this word would be to bring myself here within the breath I live and let go of all the points of ego and self interest desires for me to be seen, heard, impressed upon, or exalted to thus praise myself in the attempt to be more then others. Thus living humility would be to stop all points of my ego to be more as well as to thus stop the polarity play out of seeing myself less. Within stopping the polarity of better and worse, humbleness as humility will emerge as I will consider and thus start to live the living of others, I will in fact become equal with all as I will thus live as the physical. Equality of all is here within this physical reality, so thus to become humble and thus live humility, it is to become physical equal with all life and allow life to become physically equal with you. Thus an embracing of all life will create the humbleness of who we are which is the ending of the ego, and the emergence of the benevolence of the simplest of what it means to live life here in physical reality. Simply being with all equal and one to self and allowing all to live this equal and one to you.

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