Thursday, March 3, 2011

2011 I gotta goooooo

I had a guitar lesson tonight, which I didn't 'want' to go to today because I been feeling 'tired' and just wanting to rest and relax. The lesson is at 9pm so it's late and I could easily skip it because I have to wait about a half hour for my turn. I did not accept myself to skip it nor allow many thoughts about being tired or wanting to get out of it. As I have realized whatever you put focus on will become your reality, so best to stay with the physical and live within and as what I am doing physically here, and not go into unnecessary points of compromise with thoughts. That is what I did, lived physical.

I did allot of physical things today, and am satisfied with the day I had. I took Henri for a walk early, took a math test, and got much done at work. I have still tasks at work that I left unfinished as I did not have time to complete them, but will finish them tomorrow. This is a point that I see I get anxious with when I let stuff sit overnight, or do not tackle and complete something in one go, I will get a sort of uneasiness within me and anxiety because I have this urge to complete everything quickly. Being quick and getting all my task done in a hurry, I will have to start to look at, I have with the quickness where I have walked some in slowing myself down to stability within this point.

I find the car and driving. a great support for slowing myself down, as in the car I can see immediately if I go into the anxiety and urge to move quickly as my car will show me this, the physical will show me. I will start whizzing by people and going off in my head about other peoples' driving become spiteful, I do not accept this anymore within and as me and have seen this point diminish. The speed part I still have to push and continually push to apply the breathing, and slowing myself to here as one breath at a time. There really is no reason to rush and/or go quickly, as within this quickness state I am likely and usually do often miss things, such as at work, and have to go back and do it over. Where the first time I could just be here, do diligent pace by pace work, and move on to the next point. A simple practical point to stop wasting time. So slowing down, being in breath awareness, stopping urges for quickness, and the anxiety to get stuff down immediately is what I am currently working with to support and assist myself to live within and as the physical here what is real.

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