Saturday, April 23, 2011

2011 Past few days...

Hi, for the past few days I have been out of the normal routine of things I am use to because of a sudden come on of illness, this due to my own self responsibility because it is based on stress and nonsensical eating. A few days ago I was home from work due to feeling nausea and weak, then on weds. I felt better so I went to work. I then got home and had pizza, which didn't sit well with my stomach and didn't make to much sense to eat after feeling ill. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell that I have crohn's disease which causes inflammation to the intestine tract, this I have narrowed down to when I allow stress to possess me these 'flare' ups there called occur. Certain foods aggravate it as well. So that night after I had pizza, I had to do an overnight for work, during this I was feeling very heavy and very sick. Then when pain sets in in my stomach area, I know that the intestine tract has closed up and the food can't get access thru the tract where it is suppose to go. This is pretty painful, and I still had to work, so the only thing I could do that made sense was to vomit the food up. This I did, and it alleviated the pain.

The next day I was still feeling very nausea, and weak so I stayed home from work again. I slept alot of the morning and then I got up to eat something. This was where I went into a fart and had avocado, which did not help any stomach issues I was having and I had the same issue with the blockage and pain. I ended up going to doctor's to see in fact if it closed up completely. I got xrays done, and they read that there is no blockage. I am ok today as I can eat but decide to to do very light food and clear liquids. I haven't pinpointed what is due to the stress, although Henri my pal who is a dog, got bit in the face by another dog on Wednesday, and I didn't get it treated quick enough, so it got a bit infected and flared up. I took him to doctors today, and they had to open it up and push out all the mucus and liquid in there, which I am sure was painful for him. This had me a bit stressed. Work I am a bit stressed because I have alot of hours, but it's cool otherwise no complaints. Process I can be applying myself more, and these constant points that keep cycling such as judgment and anger are causing frustration. I could see that the flare ups I am experiencing physically could be due to the anger flare  that I have allowed and not released and stopped completely within and as my world. This makes sense due to the suddenness of the pain and quickness it leaves in my stomach same with anger it comes and goes quickly. Still have to push to apply myself here, and stop the flare up's of anger, remain in breath, and push to be aware of self and not go there into reacting in anger or reacting to others in anger. Constant application needs to be imperative. By continuing to apply the tools given, breath by breath movement, never looking back, self honesty and self forgiveness, and pushing myself to keep changing for what is best for all. I just have to keep pushing and applying myself until it's done. That is the simple truth until I am here as life one and equal to and as all where equality is the base of all life and we live in this way.

Help see this here for self and this world - equal life for all visit:


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