2011 Being alone...

I am home alone tonight as D is on a training event for his work. I find it strange to be alone as I always have people around me within where I use to live, and pretty much growing up my whole life. This point of being around others was like a comfortability that I got use to, and it kind of is like an addiction because I am so use to having that point of support from others to talk with, hang out with, or do stuff with. Now that I am alone, I find myself missing those that I am use to being around. This is a point of dependency that I have accepted and allowed within my world due to my fear of lose and fear of not being able to support myself if and when the time comes, such as like being confronted with a bugler or 'hairy' situation on my own. The cool thing about the desteniiprocess is that it teaches you to be self sufficient thru the simple tools of using common sense and practicality in all situations that I encounter as well as seeing self as power no matter what the situation my be, and directing it in a way that is best for all. So the principles are here for support, my job is to implement them as a living word and utilize them when a 'tension' point especially arises using breath not the mind. So I plan to put these points into continued practice to thus become the self sustained being I am, and support myself here direct without need or want.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to fear being alone.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to relate that being alone with the thought of others harming me thru a break in or tense situation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to connect the thought that I might get into conflict with someone and not be able to deal with it by myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting that I need a being(s) as a protector and support.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that I need to be protected.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the fear of getting harmed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe family is where I belong.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be defined by the word family.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting family to have power over who I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to define myself by a mans presence.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to feel safe when I am present with a male.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to connect the feeling of protection with the picture of a male.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting that I must be protected by a male.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to give my power away to the male as if I need to be living within his confines so I can be safe.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that I need to be safe.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting pictures of males in my head as protectors.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to allow pictures and beliefs to direct me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting fear of others to direct me.

I stop all fear of others and being alone as I realize I am here and can direct myself in common sense ways.

I stop defining myself by family and other people such as males.

I stop the desire to be safe and protected.

I stand as who I am one and equal to life with no needs or limits just here walking in what makes sense.

2011 Being alone...