Wednesday, May 4, 2011

2011 Sex and How I have defined myself by this

This point of sex and how I have defined myself by it has been something I have been looking at recently as I have always seen it in a distorted type way. This distorted way has been based on what I picked up as a kid as sex being forbidden and never spoken about openly. This was the impression I got from most people, but sex was all over the place, in pictures, on tv, in movies, in magazines, and even in school. This seemed like you could not get away from the sexitized way of life and it being everywhere, yet within people it was looked at as a taboo and not accepted.

Now the point I am looking at is why did I accept myself to be defined by the pictures and tv shows in trying to emulate those who I saw, in my case women, as sexy and trying to be this for men. Dressing up in tight clothes, with my boobs being pronounced, and my waist being highlighted because I saw these features as what guys liked so I was going to flaunt what I got so I could attract a guy. This obviously showing that I didn't accept myself as who I was, but desired to sprush myself up to be 'attractive' for others. I am no longer accepting myself to define myself in such a way as that is completely submitting to inferiority and separation due to the picture I am presenting disregarding myself here as the life being that is not defined by anything, life is free as self is free from labels.

Within this walk of trying to see who I am as a women, I realized that the clothes that make women look sexy and I use to use to make myself look and feel sexy was the tight pants and shirts. Funny thing is that I found them to be extremely uncomfortable and immobile as they where made based on look not practicality, I like things that are loose and not so constricting. Most clothes are made not  seeing the common sense within clothes, but only looking at it thru the mind in desire, definition, and need for something outside of self to tell me who and what I am about. Now the shoes that I see women wear, not to judge them as if they are 'bad' or 'ugly', but they are extremely impractical such as 4 inch stiletto heels walking the halls at school, this is just not comfortable for the women or the feet that are stuck in them.

So what I am looking at is who am I within what I am wearing, who am I when I am with others, and why I am doing what I am doing in terms of definition. This can be looked at within self honesty and the reasons and solutions will be there. I am in the midst of facing this point of identifying myself by beauty, and not defining myself by anything as this is separation. I am stopping the limitations of my thoughts that I hold on to that define and categorize my world, but allowing to be open and more free to express who I am and allow myself the freedom to be comfortable within my own skin and live as a practical being. Practicality I am finding I very much enjoy because it makes life simpler, and I enjoy the simple things in life.


  1. Same as me, i had always aware about trying to change my personality according to what women are "attract to" and what they like. I was trying to transform in some kind of "cool/attractive" character for the girls instead of being my true self who live in equality with all on every moment.