2011 Sleep to escape

I was planning on writing in this journal, but I fell asleep. The night before I had done the same thing, where I allowed myself to close my eyes because I was tired, but then about a half hour later, I woke up again and was able to get my daily journal in. This time I did not, it's now 445 in the morning and I am writing out the daily blog I have committed to. This is a point where I still am allowing this point of laziness and not prioritizing my time because I still desire to stay in my comfort zone and not wanting to deal with myself and what I am facing as the totality of me I am seeing.

This based on believing that I have a choice and am able to do what I want, when really it is just prolonging what is necessary to be done and pushing myself to meet the requirements to do this. Still living in want and desire, where my life is nice, fun, easy, and entertaining. Obviously, I have to push myself more to become self disciplined and expansive, and stop holding on to these points of comfort, self interest, and escapism.

SF

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to sleep when I realize that I have responsibilities to live out and complete.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give in to tiredness and thus in my secret mind desire to escape my responsibilities.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to hide and try to escape within and as sleep.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire to  escape myself because of the responsibilities I see that are here within self honesty and self realizations.

I stop giving my power away to tiredness.

I stop desiring to escape, I live here in breath and move in self discipline.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a point of spitefulness because I have responsibilities to adhere to.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting spitefulness because I do not want nor desire to push myself, work hard, and have to write out everyday.

I frogive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear that I will not having anything to write about.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to sleep and allow self interest rather then push myself to expand myself in writing and live out my commitment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use tiredness as an excuse to live in limbo and in comfort.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have to be miserable to be able to transcend this point of self interest in comfort.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be in self interest rather then self responsibility and not prioritize myself so I have sufficient time for each activity I plan to do.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self interest wants and desires to overpower the points of self discipline within me.

I stop self interest and push to live out self responsibility in all that I am doing.

I stop allowing tiredness to direct me, and prioritize my time so I am effective and efficient in what I am doing.

I stop spitefulness.

I stop all fear related to not being or having enough to say.

I am self disciplined, and I continue to push myself to write out daily and adhere to all other responsibilities.

I am breath, and I move one breath at a time.

2011 Sleep to escape