Process Support- Breathing

I was driving home tonight, and starting to do the 4 count breath, which is if anyone reading is unaware, you breath in 1234 hold 1234 and breath out 1234, becoming aware as yourself as the physical movement of breathing here present and directing self within and as each and every moment as i breath. This breathing exercise is used until I am here as breath as who I am, so using the breath is to become aware and considerate of who I am when here, stable, and in a sense quiet within myself. When breathing in the past I had noticed that it was like a struggle, I was uncomfortable doing it so allowing resistance to build up to doing it, but tonight I realized something that I had not seen before and that is that I had been fighting myself within breathing, forcing myself into the breathing exercise with a strict set way to do it as I perceived from others experiences and sharing.  Not being unconditionally here as myself gently breathing, but forcing it and making myself hold exactly for the amount of seconds, and causing myself to be out of breath because I was in my head trying to make myself be here and breath. Never going to work as I am separating myself from the act of breathing as me here by trying to do it causing polarity and thus friction

Another point I saw was how I have been forcing myself to stop my thoughts, as well as, discreetly judging myself for not stopping them quick enough, allowing too many, and thus reacting within and as my breathing to the thoughts that I am becoming aware of as myself thru the breathing exercise. This I also had a realization, where it is not a point of stopping the thoughts by force, but allowing them to float through and not react, letting them go. Because as myself in process I am going to think, have thoughts, and have reactions, but the process is to continually will yourself to stop the reactions of the thoughts.  I see to do this is by allowing the thoughts to flow and slowing willing the no reaction to the thoughts that flow thru until they are no more and I am here breathing.

At first it is necessary to stop the thoughts out right to become aware of the extent and experience of them for yourself, with a 'i stop participating in this -- no more' after the self forgiveness is applied. This eventually I realized is that I can not judge my thoughts nor mind, as this is separation, but become equal and one to it as I am realizing my participation within and as these energies I am generating as thoughts and thus as emotions. So when the thoughts do flow through during my day, I will allow myself to release them by stopping participation within the reactions which fuel and generate the thought flow. By stopping my participation within the reactions as energy generation as emotions by now becoming aware of the thoughts thru the breathing, eventually the thoughts and thus the reactions as energies as emotions will cease to exist. Directing me within the presence of myself as here breathing and releasing the reactions to the thought flow that has kept me enslaved for eons is my willing to become stable, and within stability as self as Life as who I am will then blossom. As life is here as the breathing as me stable, no reactions and thus no thoughts, thus here me breath. It's a seeing, sf, stopping and release as i am here and stable, no more dependent on anything, but here as self as the breath of life.  I am finding that all this is to be lived by self, no one can realize self perfection as the breath of life here stable for me, to be this I must live this as who I am as one and equal as life here stable. Thus walk the walk as the saying goes.

Process Support- Breathing