Tuesday, March 13, 2012

All We Care About is Ourselves- Self Forgiveness on Self Interest

Self Interest

So I was just watching Kristina Salas Vlog, 2012- Get Over Yourself...Stand Equal about this very point, where we as beings, as individual beings make OUR tinny, tiny worlds the center of the universe, like there is nothing going on in this world, but what we think of ourselves, what others think of us, how we are being treated, and who is noticing us and many more points, but all this is just our egos while billions on the planet suffer needlessly and cruelly within the real living physical reality that we actually live in. Our egos being centered and generated within the mind through the energy that we are continually participating in over and over again with every thought we think about all the bs that goes on within our minds. And essentially we get distracted with ourselves as our minds as our egos until death, we're then at death and beyond it's too late as we cease to exist as life resides in this physical reality as we can see all around us.

We essetially waste the oppurintiy to birth ourselves for real and thus have to face the consequences of this at death. (Within desteni they have a series of beings sharing there Life Review after they have died, and what they realized within there life's that they missed and essentially gave up within clinging to the mind and all that can be conjured up by ourselves within the egos as the mind, heres an example Life Review - A Drug-Addict as Mind-Prophett.) Thanks for Kristina for bringing this up because it is so true, we are totally consumed with ourselves as our mind and as the ego. The only way to stop this ego and this take over of the mind as who we have become, is stopping ourselves, taking responsibility for what we have created as our mind- thoughts, words, deeds, and changing ourselves in real time to be beings that support all life. It's all here, we just have to walk it into being, this to walk as life for real one and equal with all the other life that lives here with us.

To give some perspective of what I am referring to here as being ;consumed within the mind', here is something that happened today, I was running my dog through the woods, and I noticed that I had been in my head for about three or four songs into my run, thinking about henri biting someone, thinking about what my next fear week video is going to be about, thinking about that I had to go the bathroom, thinking about that I forgot to where a sports bra but cool I can still run in a bra and how it was actually becoming uncomfortable as I thought about it, thinking about having to work later, thinking about how annoying my ipod is when it stops abruptly riding against my skin, thinking about being hungry and what I was going to eat for dinner, thinking about what these people where thinking about me, do they think i am cute, do they think that I am looking nice running, do they think henri is the best dog because hes my dog and obviously he is.......so you get the idea of what I mean when I say that we consume our heads with thought after thought after thought about bullshit stuff, a constant stream it is like and I am sure every human can relate to this. But it matters neither here nor there about these thoughts being thunk because they are going to make shit difference in terms of physical action/movement and what we have to do to get ourselves actually moving within this reality. All that is needed is to run through the woods, no thought participation is necessary. We don't have think to run we just run, we dont think to pee we just pee, we dont think to eat we chew the food and swallow, we dont think to walk down the street we just do it, we are it as we move, when we think we get fucking lost within ourselves and life just becomes that much more complicated.

So at about mid way within my run I realized that I hadn't been here within this whole time of running, but fucking around in my head, so then I stabilized myself with a few breaths and started feeling my steps one after the other, looking within the path and stepping and enjoying each step as I felt the earth beneath my feet, also enjoying henri as he trotted right next to me, and how he played and rumped around with the other dogs on the trail as they passed by greeting each other with no judgment and moving on. Also, I was aware of the sweat that was starting to build up feeling it fall down my back and my legs as my physical body pushed through the air and propelled me through the air as I ran along the path through the trees. There I could see the different sticks and rocks that I passed there were big ones and little some in the ground, there was big stick in the way that i moved over in case someone didn't see it avoiding a fall, and the little midges flying around me as I ran along enjoying themselves in the newly spring like air. Life is going on here, I can live with or miss it, its my responsibility to walk who I am.

I realized within the desteni process I have been walking is that I am for real missing the life around me, the real true life that is living around me and missing the opportunity to grow and expand within understanding of myself as this life around me and all that is here in unconditional support as I would like to be for others. So it's a stopping simply of this chatter of useless thoughts about my self and letting go of this point of trying to to be something I simply am not or having to be noticed, letting go of the ego, and enjoying self here, simply as a life being living breath by breath.

Self interest within Being in my head Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be consumed within my mind as thoughts within my own consideration only of how I can be exalted and seen as special within my world and within the people in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to only care about my own self interest and that I will be seen within my world as special and that people notice me and see me as better and great then other beings, so I can gain energy to feed my ego and make myself feel ok.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be defined by my ego and allow my ego to direct who I am within this life in comparison, competition judgement, and self obsession with and as others in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to continually participate in thoughts that I am better or less then any being within this world and I forgive myself for allowing and accepting separation within all the life that is here with and as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to continue to participate in thoughts of competition towards the life around me as if I am subject to the ego and what I perceive as winning over another being realizing that I am only diminishing myself and separating myself further from birthing myself into who I am as life in equality with all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist witihin self judgment and continually put myself down and within this diminish the life as me to thus continue participating in my ego as competition and become the winner of what? there is nothing really that is being won, but the mind within gaining energy from me as a slave to the ego.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to diminish myself within this desire to become more then others in my world to thus gain a false sense of accomplishment and achievement because I won a system prize as coming out on top, but within myself always in the next point of attainment because this specialness did not last, it was gone as soon as it came, so thus I am in a constant battle with time to become more as I am always seeing myself within this cycle as an up and down energy gain and loss battle to be on top.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within this idea that I have to win and achieve victory to become more then others and thus see myself less then others when I don't live up to my own ideas of victory and self achievement.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to within self interest try and achieve over others to get a rush of energy to show that I beat you, I won and you lost, so I can exist within a moment of time as seeing myself great, but this again is subject to energy as thoughts, ideas, and perceptions of other being less then me and thus it is always going to end and I am always going to be here diminished as when you go up you must come down and I realize I am only competing against myself which makes no sense anyways.

I forgive myself for alloiwng and accepting to miss myself here in physical breath in oneness and equality to all that is here just like me and one with me, and that I do not need to compete or achieve victory as this is unnecessary as we can all live together and co-habituate within the principles of common sense and practicality in what would be best for all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting thoughts and ideas that I must be better, I must have the best of what is here, and I must be seen by others as better to be liked within this world and to believe that others like me when really this is my own ego trying to keep itself alive and using what is here as life in unconditional support in an abusive and self deprecating way.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to give up myself as life for an idea within my mind that I need to be more then what is here as me as a physical breathing being thus missing the opportunity to fully be alive and express myself fully here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to accept my ego fully based on fear of losing myself and giving up this perceived security I have of my life and my world when really this world is dying and I as life must stop and change to become one and equal to thus stop the self abuse as the ego is driven within a polarity cycle of constant participation which cause life to be lessened through the participation of it's own diminishment through separation which is me as the mind in separation.

When and as this point of self interest comes up where my ego wants to participate in energy as cycles of win/loss or better/less I stop and breath, gain my stability within this physical world, and focus on the movements of my body. I stop all thoughts, ideas, feelings and emotions of competition or comparison or judgment with the life around me, and push to stand equal with all that is here as i realize and see that what is here is myself. So I let go of these thoughts, letting them release thru breathing and self forgiveness/self honesty, and thus start to stand equal with me as breath and me as what is here simple living moment to  moment and taking responsibility to change the world in the best possible way starting with my self.

So instead of benig in the mind missing what is going on in life, lets live our words and see that life is here as me and I can be life equal and one to the enjoyment of just being here alive breathing, really is there anything more that we need?



  1. cool Gab. The self corrective statement is assisting

  2. The self forgiveness really assists in the self realizations. Thanks!