All We Care About is Ourselves- Self Forgiveness on Self Interest

Self Interest

So I was just watching Kristina Salas Vlog, 2012- Get Over Yourself...Stand Equal about this very point, where we as beings, as individual beings make OUR tinny, tiny worlds the center of the universe, like there is nothing going on in this world, but what we think of ourselves, what others think of us, how we are being treated, and who is noticing us and many more points, but all this is just our egos while billions on the planet suffer needlessly and cruelly within the real living physical reality that we actually live in. Our egos being centered and generated within the mind through the energy that we are continually participating in over and over again with every thought we think about all the bs that goes on within our minds. And essentially we get distracted with ourselves as our minds as our egos until death, we're then at death and beyond it's too late as we cease to exist as life resides in this physical reality as we can see all around us.

We essetially waste the oppurintiy to birth ourselves for real and thus have to face the consequences of this at death. (Within desteni they have a series of beings sharing there Life Review after they have died, and what they realized within there life's that they missed and essentially gave up within clinging to the mind and all that can be conjured up by ourselves within the egos as the mind, heres an example Life Review - A Drug-Addict as Mind-Prophett.) Thanks for Kristina for bringing this up because it is so true, we are totally consumed with ourselves as our mind and as the ego. The only way to stop this ego and this take over of the mind as who we have become, is stopping ourselves, taking responsibility for what we have created as our mind- thoughts, words, deeds, and changing ourselves in real time to be beings that support all life. It's all here, we just have to walk it into being, this to walk as life for real one and equal with all the other life that lives here with us.

To give some perspective of what I am referring to here as being ;consumed within the mind', here is something that happened today, I was running my dog through the woods, and I noticed that I had been in my head for about three or four songs into my run, thinking about henri biting someone, thinking about what my next fear week video is going to be about, thinking about that I had to go the bathroom, thinking about that I forgot to where a sports bra but cool I can still run in a bra and how it was actually becoming uncomfortable as I thought about it, thinking about having to work later, thinking about how annoying my ipod is when it stops abruptly riding against my skin, thinking about being hungry and what I was going to eat for dinner, thinking about what these people where thinking about me, do they think i am cute, do they think that I am looking nice running, do they think henri is the best dog because hes my dog and obviously he is.......so you get the idea of what I mean when I say that we consume our heads with thought after thought after thought about bullshit stuff, a constant stream it is like and I am sure every human can relate to this. But it matters neither here nor there about these thoughts being thunk because they are going to make shit difference in terms of physical action/movement and what we have to do to get ourselves actually moving within this reality. All that is needed is to run through the woods, no thought participation is necessary. We don't have think to run we just run, we dont think to pee we just pee, we dont think to eat we chew the food and swallow, we dont think to walk down the street we just do it, we are it as we move, when we think we get fucking lost within ourselves and life just becomes that much more complicated.

So at about mid way within my run I realized that I hadn't been here within this whole time of running, but fucking around in my head, so then I stabilized myself with a few breaths and started feeling my steps one after the other, looking within the path and stepping and enjoying each step as I felt the earth beneath my feet, also enjoying henri as he trotted right next to me, and how he played and rumped around with the other dogs on the trail as they passed by greeting each other with no judgment and moving on. Also, I was aware of the sweat that was starting to build up feeling it fall down my back and my legs as my physical body pushed through the air and propelled me through the air as I ran along the path through the trees. There I could see the different sticks and rocks that I passed there were big ones and little some in the ground, there was big stick in the way that i moved over in case someone didn't see it avoiding a fall, and the little midges flying around me as I ran along enjoying themselves in the newly spring like air. Life is going on here, I can live with or miss it, its my responsibility to walk who I am.

I realized within the desteni process I have been walking is that I am for real missing the life around me, the real true life that is living around me and missing the opportunity to grow and expand within understanding of myself as this life around me and all that is here in unconditional support as I would like to be for others. So it's a stopping simply of this chatter of useless thoughts about my self and letting go of this point of trying to to be something I simply am not or having to be noticed, letting go of the ego, and enjoying self here, simply as a life being living breath by breath.

Self interest within Being in my head Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be consumed within my mind as thoughts within my own consideration only of how I can be exalted and seen as special within my world and within the people in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to only care about my own self interest and that I will be seen within my world as special and that people notice me and see me as better and great then other beings, so I can gain energy to feed my ego and make myself feel ok.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be defined by my ego and allow my ego to direct who I am within this life in comparison, competition judgement, and self obsession with and as others in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to continually participate in thoughts that I am better or less then any being within this world and I forgive myself for allowing and accepting separation within all the life that is here with and as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to continue to participate in thoughts of competition towards the life around me as if I am subject to the ego and what I perceive as winning over another being realizing that I am only diminishing myself and separating myself further from birthing myself into who I am as life in equality with all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist witihin self judgment and continually put myself down and within this diminish the life as me to thus continue participating in my ego as competition and become the winner of what? there is nothing really that is being won, but the mind within gaining energy from me as a slave to the ego.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to diminish myself within this desire to become more then others in my world to thus gain a false sense of accomplishment and achievement because I won a system prize as coming out on top, but within myself always in the next point of attainment because this specialness did not last, it was gone as soon as it came, so thus I am in a constant battle with time to become more as I am always seeing myself within this cycle as an up and down energy gain and loss battle to be on top.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to exist within this idea that I have to win and achieve victory to become more then others and thus see myself less then others when I don't live up to my own ideas of victory and self achievement.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to within self interest try and achieve over others to get a rush of energy to show that I beat you, I won and you lost, so I can exist within a moment of time as seeing myself great, but this again is subject to energy as thoughts, ideas, and perceptions of other being less then me and thus it is always going to end and I am always going to be here diminished as when you go up you must come down and I realize I am only competing against myself which makes no sense anyways.

I forgive myself for alloiwng and accepting to miss myself here in physical breath in oneness and equality to all that is here just like me and one with me, and that I do not need to compete or achieve victory as this is unnecessary as we can all live together and co-habituate within the principles of common sense and practicality in what would be best for all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting thoughts and ideas that I must be better, I must have the best of what is here, and I must be seen by others as better to be liked within this world and to believe that others like me when really this is my own ego trying to keep itself alive and using what is here as life in unconditional support in an abusive and self deprecating way.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to give up myself as life for an idea within my mind that I need to be more then what is here as me as a physical breathing being thus missing the opportunity to fully be alive and express myself fully here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to accept my ego fully based on fear of losing myself and giving up this perceived security I have of my life and my world when really this world is dying and I as life must stop and change to become one and equal to thus stop the self abuse as the ego is driven within a polarity cycle of constant participation which cause life to be lessened through the participation of it's own diminishment through separation which is me as the mind in separation.


When and as this point of self interest comes up where my ego wants to participate in energy as cycles of win/loss or better/less I stop and breath, gain my stability within this physical world, and focus on the movements of my body. I stop all thoughts, ideas, feelings and emotions of competition or comparison or judgment with the life around me, and push to stand equal with all that is here as i realize and see that what is here is myself. So I let go of these thoughts, letting them release thru breathing and self forgiveness/self honesty, and thus start to stand equal with me as breath and me as what is here simple living moment to  moment and taking responsibility to change the world in the best possible way starting with my self.

So instead of benig in the mind missing what is going on in life, lets live our words and see that life is here as me and I can be life equal and one to the enjoyment of just being here alive breathing, really is there anything more that we need?

All We Care About is Ourselves- Self Forgiveness on Self Interest

2011 "I want to be perfect" Self Forgiveness

Okay, so - walk the line of self forgiveness - of how the teasing made you think and feel about yourself

                                          Picture By: Ann ven den Broeck                                          

The teasing within myself  made me feel like an alien, like I had something wrong with me and that i was flawed or damaged. This brought a great depression due to the fact that I did not want to be seen as damaged or flawed by others. I did not want to be alone within my world and this specific teasing made me feel like i was alone and this i feared. I feared this because i felt i needed others to show me how to live, become normal, and to be accepted. I used others as a reference point to find out who I am because i didn’t like the way I was within myself = self judgment and I felt  inferior due to others pointing this out with words as a ‘diss’ like ‘retard’. This causing me to be low because I judge these words as bad.

feeling like an alien, there was something wrong with me, I am flawed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see myself as an alien and judging this alien reality I was seeing myself within as extremely depressing and believing that there was nothing I could do to get out of it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to believe that there is nothing I can do to get out of these feelings instead of realizing that I define who I am and can direct myself to be equal and to be physical stopping the feelings. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to be depressed for being publicly called out within school as a alien type person who stood out in a bad way based on the stereotypes of the words used that were said to me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to thus go into a depression within myself as suppression and completely shut down in front of others I see within this point as my ‘abusers’ that where male.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to define life based on pictures and believe/perceive life as better or worse based on what the picture looked like living out this inferior/superior cycle within and as my world as the pictures i saw and defining myself based on the point within the cycle I found myself either being outgoing if was acceptable by myself or suppressive if I saw my self as less then others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to judge any being in this world based on their picture presentation and have any point of judgement based on the physical capabilities of other beings creating a separation with the expression of life thus continually creating a self judgement of myself in relation too the life I am living as and within never allowing peace and calm within me because there is a constant conflict and struggle within my mind of if I will be ok or not due to the pictures always changing and there always being in influx of good/bad ugly/beautiful play-out over and over continually as i go thru life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting when I was younger to live within the superiority definition of who I was seeing and believing that I was better then those within myself because i was better equipped/capable/picture presentation in the idea of myself as I held in my mind eye then creating a separation in my starting point within meeting others seeing them as superiority/inferior cycle and judging life immediately based on these ideas I held on to.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to seek ot situation where I would be superior so thus I could shine and gain attention from others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire to gain attention from others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to not see or realize that I was only causing self conflict within myself and physical/mental/verbal abuse within my world as I lived out this superior power game with the other beings in my world becoming like a demon in some case picking on others and abusing others because I saw them as less then me and that I had the ability due to my feeling that I am indeed better based on the outer definitions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to abuse life in this way seeking out to be the best and thus becoming anger and vengeful if I do not fulfill this point of perfection I am looking to fulfill collaterally causing damage and abuse into my world. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use my anger and rage due to the way I felt about myself within myself of constant self judgment and self sabotage because i was playing this game of love hate based on the pictures I saw missing the reality of the living being within the picture and missing myself as the other where I hurt or abused due to trying to puff my own self because within myself I felt less then others and use those i saw as ‘weak’ as points to see me as strong and be a bully to gain this energy as superior in my world and gain attention.

I  forgive myself for allowing and accepting to become the living manifestation of this weak/strong bully/bullied play-out throughout my life and within myself based on this inner conflict I am having of this acceptance of the ultimate picture of perfection that I am holding onto to thus use as a reference point to define myself and my world from because I fear being vulnerable and being alone within and as my world so thus I go the safe route by using others to define and live out who I am thru pictures in my head as a point of reference to compare in my world and see where I stand.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to become the living manifestation of this weak/strong point within myself that I have accumulated thru timed events within my world that I have accepted and allowed to direct me to divide and try and conquer my world as my ‘flaws’ within myself by projecting onto others and try and gain self satisfaction by the diminishment of others by making them as weak, so I can have a point of comparison to see me and thus externally manifest abuse thru diminishing others within words/deeds so thus I can feel stronger within myself as I see then that this other person is weak based on the definitions I have defined as weak in my head and that I am strong because I don’t have these particular ‘weak’ definitions I am holding onto as the polarity play out continues.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to self sabotage myself by holding onto this point of pictures as who I am, living within this polarity play-out of strong/weak within my world as I do within myself living out a constant never ending cycle of self limitation by judging myself and my world based on an idea in my head of a perfect picture that I am trying to live up to but never being able to because it is not real nor tangible and always activated based on the differences of expression within my world and the obviousness of extremes that can exist and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to not live as one and equal with all life as I see and realize is me here but define myself and separate myself by these pictures in an attempt to validate myself as my ego personality so I can see myself as strong and acceptable because I don’t accept myself here as who I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to define myself by this perfect picture within my head as thoughts, ideas, and beliefs of some are better due to the way they look or act and speak and define those as less then based on the way the look, act, or speak and thus dividing and separating myself continually from myself to live as my mind as who I believe myself to be all the while cause abuse within my world as anger, competition, jealousy, and physical pain and abuse as d separation expression and self diminishment throughout time as I have defined myself so much by my outer world never seeing myself for who I am as a being that live and breath as life as all do just like me but within separation that cause conflict.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to harm life based on being jealous and blaming others for this feeling within me of lack and thus go into anger and abuse towards this being who triggered the jealousy because i am not accepting me here and defining myself based on what I apparently see I lack and that others have. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to abuse life based on this idea and belief that I lack something and that I am flawed and thus that I am permanently damaged and can never be normal.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting this desire to be normal as the societal norm because I fear humiliation and embarrassment within myself and will compromise myself by living as a system robot as a copy of others based on the fear I am allowing to direct me to not feel these feelings. 

I realize and see all points of life here in all its forms and varieties is indeed me, living, expressing, and breathing as the life that resides and is gifted to us all, I live this oneness, I live this equality, I live this embracement, and I breath this as myself stopping all points of separation thru accumulated self trusted movement til I am here as life as the physical as breath as me.

Watch my vlog, "I want to be Perfect" is a Mind F*ck", where I walk thru my physical process of letting go of this mind f*ck of trying  be 'perfect' only for others and my ego for greater support.

Check out the Eqafe for more products that support life and your process with becoming real here and out of your mind, where also you can buy and sell products for yourself to make extra income.

2011 "I want to be perfect" Self Forgiveness

2011 Israel-Palestinian Conflict: Will it ever end?

Last night I watched the documentary called Peace, Propaganda, and the Promised Land, which was about the role the media has within the shaping, direction, and outlook within the American perception of the Israel-Palestinian conflict.  I am a product of this American propaganda, and can attest to this media machine, as I have never seen or heard about the full story of this 'conflict' until I researched it myself. This conflict being the occupation by Israel of the Palestinian land as Israel illegally took over this land during the seven day war, and is to this day continually building upon it. This is causing much hardship to the Palestinian people who lived there for over a thousand years.

This documentary is being focused on the US outlets mis-direction of the occupation into the American homes as well as the mis-perception deliberately placed in words and phrases used within media coverage of each action taken by either side to always sway in favor of Israel. This shown with examples within the movie where the US is compared with the English BBC coverage of many incidents and the differences between coverage is displayed. The BBC being more fair and balanced covering both sides of this conflict seen within the footage, where US media blatantly has an agenda within their coverage, almost always favoring Israel position and doing it specifically within stories told.  Within this movie, they use specific examples, which I will discuss what I learned here, but highly suggest watching this for yourself as it is a great depiction of the power and control used by the people in power to stay in power all the while keeping the masses dumbed down specifically with there propaganda pieces meant to steer the masses in a specific direction, in this case, so Israel look's like the victim. This all the while many people are suffering within theses regions day after day, the brunt being those who are Palestinian.

Israel went in 1967 and occupied the lands of the West Bank as well as the Gaza Strip, this being lived as Palestinian territory. They where not approved by the UN, which is required by international law, but they did it anyway and continue to occupy them to this day. Within this occupation in West Bank and Gaza Strip, the lives of the Palestinians are being made unbearable with road checkpoints lasting for hours that restricts them from free movement, and curfews where one can not leave the house without getting accosted and potentially abused by the soldiers standing on guard. You see within the movies full armored tanks roaming the streets as the curfew is being enforced.

Israel has also gone into the lands and created settlements, which is only allocated to the Jewish people while the Palestinians are forced else were many go into refugee camps, and the house that where there are cleared for new development with the Palestine families left with nothing as everything is destroyed. Within these settlements they are all interconnected within a road system where it is only available to the people living in them, they are able to freely move about with no checkpoints or curfew. The settlements are beautiful homes, with lush green grass and swimming pools, while the Palestinians are in refugee camps, homes destroyed, little food and water, and the threat of violence as well as oppression with the huge force of Israel's military in around every corner. This obvious human living violations as one group is being treated not equal to an other group under illegal means is unacceptable. But as seen on American TV, the media is speaking of these settlements calling them 'neighborhoods' to give it an extra charm. To put into perspective the corruption within the US media outlet on this issue, within this movie they speak of a document that went around the media heads saying specifically not to call these settlements, settlements, but 'neighborhoods', this giving it the sense of innocence within what is being done there. This not being close to reality nor fair nor balanced news coverage, which is the point of free press claimed by many of the talking heads on the tube nightly in America, no?

The US allegiance to Israel even with the illegal occupation of another land as well as the brutality that has been bestowed on these people, is based on money, power, control and resources = greed. This being why the media is so biased because the US government et all has a vested interest in the support and continuing funding of the Israel state. Israel within the lands of the West Bank as well as the Gaza strip have taken over the water resources, the air space, and the settlement building has only continued, this all points that US need to have continue to form a base point of support and resources within the Middle East powers that stand, Iran, Saudia Arabia, Egypt, as we see already with their own occupation of Afghanistan and Iraq. The US being the highest supplier of military equipment to Israel and now Israel has the second strongest military behind the US in the world. This with an ever fulfilling army force that stands within Israel as it is done through obligation where their is repercussion if not excused from military duty, man and women, so this military force of Israel and US is a mighty one in terms of the power and resources within the military arsenal as well as man power they currently hold. The US needing this force within the middle east land as they look to gain resources within oil as this is becoming quite a commodity these days as well as other natural resources to have more power and influence in that region and in the world at large.

It's all about money, control, and power within this point of enslavement of people, this can be seen all over the world within many different conflicts we have seen over the years and throughout human history. This causing unbelievable suffering and death within many peoples lives for no real purpose, but to have a few have more then others. The Palestinian and Israelites have been fighting for decades and it will not stop until there is an equality reached or the place gets obliterated by the militarys of this world which is currently spiraling out of control. There will be no real trust nor reliability on any source as we can not even trust ourselves to do what is best for all. This is a walk and a self willed living change in terms of being true and living what is best for all. We cannot continue going on like this going around like bullies to each other pretending that I am 'jewish' and you are 'muslim' so we can not live equally here, we have to destroy and conquer each other because 'god' said so, but it is humans who proliferate death objects and continue to destroy life here.

There is always another way though, this way is the true freedom of man and the true freedom of living life, this is within equality and oneness of all here, seeing life as yourself and willing yourself to get this done. This will be best supported within an equal money system, where all will get equally everything that is needed to live, no occupation will be allowed as no profit nor power over another will be tolerated, and we can walk with those who are trustworthy because they have proven it thru there actions as well as words over time. This self trust and trust within a group built on tools such as self honesty, self forgiveness, common sense, and corrective change. The individuals that make up this new equal money system live by principles within all that they do, to live equality, no point of ego nor personality will suffice as this will be seen as not who I am and thus let go of. Any point of definition will be no longer necessary as we will all see what is here as ourselves and simply live and express as this.  Life will be born from this expression in a new direction that which is truly lived best for each being on this planet, this the only point in this existence that ever matter, so we have a lot of work to do.

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Sources used in this article:

Israeli-occupied territories
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Israeli-occupied_territories

Peace, Propaganda, and the Promised Landhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXKQzv5gh1c&feature=share

2011 Israel-Palestinian Conflict: Will it ever end?

2011 Equality is the only way forward..

Equality is the only way forward because it is the only real solution. This is so because in any point of life that one can come up with, that one can imagine, there is a being that express there. Even if it is a cup, which holds as an object within this reality not to be seen as an equivalent to other life forms such as human, animal, or tree, but seen as less important. But if one allow oneself to look at the cup within the matter of what is here as the physical, it has equal importance to everything else that is here because it is a cup, it's here, it expresses itself as a cup, which helps hold liquid for the greater world. It has experiences and is aware of itself (view desteniproductions for more perspective), it holds different liquids, some hot, some cold, some with ice, some with honey, some bubbly, some with pulp, many different life experiences this cup is living within and as it's expression as a cup throughout the time and space that it is here. This also can be said for any being that is here, a horse, a bug, a trash bag, a child, ect. we all are here in the most practical and physical way as beings expressing themselves as how we are living. This is why I am standing for equality for not just humans but all beings so judgment stops of life and all are free to just express and be able to live together as equals no matter who/what/where you are, we are equal because we are here.

The solution for this world can not just include the humans, but must include all that is alive and expressing themselves here. This being the only way to create a sense of peace because once this is understood and realized as yourself within and as equality to all, life will outflow within a peaceful way because we will see each other in the same light as all other beings and be familiar, stopping the fear and just being calm. From this we will have respect and care as we would for our own selves because we see ourselves in the other. Its really simple stuff, but its a point where one must face themselves and stop the ego = survival from desiring to be better or more, which in turn will always cause the opposite to manifest, and thus the conflict and turmoil of life will continue because we are creating it that way. We are essentially fighting with ourselves, warring ourselves due to our alternate egos wanting to win. Why is it in an alternate dimension this ego because it is not real, but from the mind, which we simply made up and can be as easily let go. To manifest the solution as equality to bring peace to this earth, we must live the equality within ourselves here to all living expressions that is here on this physical planet because we are all equal within and as the life being expressed and we all matter.

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Release the Ego www.desteniiprocess.com

2011 Equality is the only way forward..