2012: I Have a Secret....My Journey with a 'Spirit' Entity

My friend and I started to discuss a new book I was reading, it was the conversations with god books. It was a book about a guy who asks questions, and 'god' comes through and writes out answers. This was very intriguing to me as I had come to realize that what we were being taught within religions and teachings of this world about god and beliefs was to me like make believe, pretend, it had no real life relevance. As I found within the religions and beliefs around the world there was a serious disconnect to reality, I mean a pope who is suppose to be the right hand man of god sits on a throne, and there are billions how live and have nothing....I could go on about this subject, but that is not what this blog is about, so I will digress and go back to that point I wanted to discuss here, and that was my friend and I started speaking about this book, the material in it, and if we thought it was for real or not.

My friend then out of no where, said 'garb?' and I looked at her and I go 'yo, what up?' like with a puzzled look on my face as it was so random that she just said my name like a question out of no where and just looked at me blankly, lol. And then her eyes motioned to look at her hand, and so I looked down and her hand was writing. It was writing letters, and I was like what are you doing? She was like I am not doing anything, there is something that is doing this for me. So I started communicating with it. It named itself V and said that she was my guide. This I was fascinated by as I was reading books and such about heaven and guides, so from that moment on, a relationship started to develop between me, my friend, and her finger writing out all sorts of stuff that will last two years until I came across Sunette on youtube, who is known as the Interdimensional Portal from Desteni.

Now within this moment, I did not question what was being said to me through the finger, what was going on within the nature of what was happening with my friend where she had no control of what was being shared, but just allowed it to happen, I was a bit shocked because I was hoping that something like this would happen to me, and here it is, it seemed too good to be true as the saying goes. I assumed that it was some sort of spiritual being or benevolent being, but I had no real physical evidence of what or who it was. This was a clear red flag that I should have took note of as how can you trust something that just happens out of the blue like that, but I was naive at the time, and was quite impressed with myself that I was 'chosen' and this boosted up my ego for sure. So from the starting point of this, it was always about me and my self interest, what I could get out of it, what I could find out, and exalting my ego as I was special because I have this privilege while no one else does, I had a secret that made me 'believe' that I was more special and privileged then others. This a product of accepting my ego as me and not using common sense and self honesty to see the red flags that started to emerge as the communication continued for many months.

At that stage, I allowed it to continue on the hope and actual obsession of speaking to the other side, trying to find answer to my own self fuck ups, and just preoccupying my time with useless questions about things that had no relevance to anything that actually mattered in this world. I also got suspicious when my friend started questioning the validity of this as she was having a hard time keeping stable within it, allowing it to mess with her mind as I was seeing this as with my own mind, and there was no real point of groundedness within it, if anything it was making me more confused and lost within the whole 'who am i?' types of questions I had within myself.

I would be led to do stuff that was absolutely ridiculous, and would make a complete fool of myself, but based on the words of this talking finger directing me to do it, I would go and do it. For instance, this guy was at a show for work, and I was attracted to him. He did not even see me I don't think, but I had my eye on him. I got the number some how of his business, and ask the talking finger if he was interested in me and should I get into contact with him. She said yes, do it, he saw you and would like to go out, and so this is all I needed, even though, he was not in any close vicinity to me, and we maybe saw each other once, very briefly, and I was assuming he was looking at me, I had no idea. So I USED this finger to tell me the way, and thus I was directed to call him and get a date. So I did, and it was quite an awkward conversation, he had no clue who I was and thought I was rather insane for calling him in the middle of a work day and asking if he remember me at some random conference where there was probably a thousand people walking around, he ended the conversation with I am married. So as you can see here, it was not to be trusted, the writing from the finger, and I was clearly giving it all the power as I believed myself to be less then it, and abdicated my responsibility to stand up and direct myself because I desired to be told what to do and how to do it. Not cool and thus this is where evilness is bred and cultivated, by those who think they are powerless and need others to show them the way or save them, thus giving up there right to really live and become the solution themselves.

The key point within spiritual psychic, channelers, fingers that automatically write, and the likes that I found is that there is no validation nor hard physical evidence that it is in fact true and real. I have found first hand that it was a complete point of self abdication and self indulgence that I accepted to direct me into something that within my beingness I knew was not legitimate, and it didn't make sense, but due to desire and my ego I let it me over, which left me more lost and distracted within conspiracy theories and what if scenarios for instance.

I found desteni after about two years of this communication, and a lot of communication happened in between this time. Within the two years, I did not have any more clarity from when I started, but rather felt more lost, confused, and had lost trust within myself for allowing myself to get so wrapped up in it. I allowed the ideas I created of myself with it, the specialness, the elixir of knowing secrets of existence, and speaking to someone who I thought was better then me, more then me, and actually fearing it sometimes. But within this experience I realized that if something could not be verified and proven overtime to be consistent within what it spoke of itself, common sense dictates it should not be trusted. Anything that is real and true can be verified and in fact will make sense, such as this physical reality, such as equality and oneness, such as the portal, there is evidence of this working and being cross-referenced over and over, again and again, and each time it is stable, consistent, and able to be verified and proven true through the actual living of it. But this can only be seen if you are a being looking for self truth by being self honest as you will be walking this as yourself.  If you are interested in playing into ideas and beliefs about what might be out there or could be as the spiritual world is full of, then this will be your life, wondering and searching, but never finding the solution, which is getting to peace in this world.

Thus all spiritual notions, channels, ventures, desires, ect. is invalid as it has done nothing to bring about oneness and equality within this physical world. We have been searching for ourselves, in channellers, in masters, in higher planes, in heaven after death, but all the while, we have been missing ourselves here living day after day after day. We are lost within getting answers, getting signs, believing in someone else to save us, and abdicate our own self living to bring this about ourselves. We are the solution of this world, each and every human being, we must walk the solution as ourselves to enjoy the fruits of our labor as what has to be walked for real to bring about peace in this world, through bringing all that is here from inequality to equality in fact through a living system that honor this principle, the equality of all life. If we don't live it here it will not be created, common sense....just like if we don't get up and ride the bike, we will never be able to ride the bike for ourselves. No one can sit and ride it for you, to experience the riding of the bike, one must for real ride the bike. To solve the problems in this world, we can't rely on anything else, but ourselves solving the problems in this world. Desteni is just a doorway to bring this about, this principle of life as equality and oneness for each one for real, it's a tool for self to walk the solution.

Investigate Desteni as this is a site that is a central point to understand about self as the creator of this world, and the responsibility of ourselves to fix what we have created faulty. It is a process to be walked, but a process of self realization to become a being who has perfected ones living. Fascinating and challenging at the same time, so are you ready to walk your desteni?



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2012: I Have a Secret....My Journey with a 'Spirit' Entity